Choose to Live an Abundant Life

by Mary Southerland | | 5 comments

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I have discovered some wonderful advantages of growing older. Honestly, I can get away with so much more than I could when I was younger – and I love it!

Like many of you, I have paid some heavy life dues. I am enjoying a refreshing freedom in what I say and do – as long as I say and do it in love and with integrity before God.

I am flat-out amazed by the fact that people value my advice. They actually think I know what I am doing. Hilarious! I know!

But I am thrilled to share some of the God-truths I have learned along the way. I’m also

When God’s Love Shows Up

by Mary Southerland | | 7 comments

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The doorbell rang, but I had absolutely no desire to answer it. I was desperately trying to withdraw from my world. It was too dark and too painful. I just wanted to be left alone.

Clinical depression was sucking the life out of me. I was seeing a counselor. I was also under the care of a psychiatrist who discovered I had a chemical imbalance that required medication. But it would be a long, hard road.

The doorbell rang again. I pulled the covers over my head, determined to outlast whoever was trying to work their way into my pain. It was easier to just surrender to the darkness than it was to struggle my way to the light.

The doorbell

The Power of Praying Continually

by Mary Southerland | | 3 comments

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Three ministers were talking about prayer and the most effective positions for prayer. As they were talking, a telephone repairman worked silently in the background.

One minister shared that he felt the key to powerful prayer was all in the hands. “I always hold my hands together and point them upward as a sign of worship,” he explained.

The second minister suggested that real prayer should always be conducted on the knees.

The third minister shook his head and said, “I’m afraid you both have it wrong. The only position worth its salt is to pray while stretched out flat on your face.”

As the three ministers solemnly contemplated the wisdom they had shared, the phone man put down his tools, approached

Thankful for the Fleas

by Mary Southerland | | 6 comments

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While in Ravensbrück, Corrie ten Boom and her sister Betsy dealt with appalling conditions. The women’s labor camp dorms were crammed into three high trough-like sleeping barracks with rancid hay as their bed.

The cramped conditions and lack of basic sanitation led to lice and a massive infestation of fleas. Corrie wondered how they could endure such a dreadful place.

Betsy prayed and told her sister they must “give thanks in all circumstances.”

Corrie wondered how she could ever be thankful for the lice and the fleas.

Several weeks later, one of the supervisors was called into their barracks to view something Betsy was working on. The supervisor refused because the place was crawling with fleas.

Betsy then reminded her sister that it

Sitting At His Feet

by Mary Southerland | | 6 comments

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Every moment of every day is focused on someone or something. We either set the focus through which we live, or we allow it to be set for us. A balanced life is focused on God as a result of sitting at His feet.

What does it mean to “sit at the feet of Jesus”? 

First, we must stop. The lives of Mary and Martha are great examples of this truth. Mary stopped helping Martha in the kitchen to sit at the feet of Jesus. 

Martha complained that she had been left to do all of the work while her sister was wasting time. There will always be someone who misunderstands or complains when you choose to do what Jesus told

Get Your Praise On!

by Mary Southerland | | 10 comments

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When we lived in South Florida, the grass in our yard grew year-round. So did the weeds. We soon learned that the best way to deal with weeds was simply to take really good care of the grass. When the grass was healthy, it was thick and lush – leaving little room for weeds to grow.

When our hearts and lives are filled with praise, worry is a weed that will die from a lack of attention. When we choose to continually give God thanks, there will be little room in our hearts for fear.

Why?

Because praise acknowledges the very character of God, while thanksgiving recognizes the work of His hand. Together, praise and thanksgiving are powerful weapons against worry

From a Storm to a Whisper

by Mary Southerland | | 18 comments

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Movies with happy endings are my favorite movies. My family constantly teases me about my surreal perspective of movie entertainment, but honestly, life holds enough reality. Why would I want to pay good money to see even more reality made bigger and more frightening on a gigantic movie screen?

When the movie, “The Perfect Storm,” was first released, the previews suggested it had a happy ending. I should have known better, but we love the water and really, how bad could it be?

We bought tickets, popcorn, and drinks, found the best seats in the theater, and prepared to be entertained. Wrong! Just about every scene showed tiny boats caught in the grip of frightening waves and fierce winds. I

The Antidote to Worry

by Mary Southerland | | 10 comments

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Stress management is a spiritual discipline that begins with diligent preparation in every area of life – mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual. We must be ready to deal with stress before we are required to deal with stress. 

Dealing with stress is an ongoing daily battle that will not end on this side of Heaven. To win that battle, we must be prepared. While there is no single secret to handling stress, God’s Word is filled with many truths that can enable and empower us to deal with stress in a healthy, productive, and God-honoring way.  

Sometimes the most familiar passages of scripture are also the most overlooked. Psalm 23 is one of those passages. I often find myself rushing to this psalm for peace and

Ready to Give Up?

by Mary Southerland | | 4 comments

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From the moment of birth, we are taught that successful people never give up. Yet, I have discovered the paradoxical secret that true success can only be found in complete surrender. 

Dr. Billy Graham tells the story of a little child who was playing with a very valuable vase. The child put his hand into the vase but could not pull it out. His father tried to free the little boy’s hand but couldn’t. They were thinking of breaking the vase when the father said, “Son, let’s try one more time. Open your hand and hold your fingers out really straight and then pull.” The look of alarm on the boy’s face surprised the dad until the little boy explained, “Oh

How Can I Go On?

by Mary Southerland | | 10 comments

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I love a great movie! To me, a movie is great when good wins over evil, the right guy gets the right girl, nobody gets hurt and everyone lives happily ever after. A bit naive, I know. But I have decided that there is enough harsh reality ripping through daily life without paying to see more on a movie screen.

With these criteria in mind, I went to see the movie “Seabiscuit.” There I was popcorn in hand, minding my own business and enjoying my brief respite, when his words slammed into my soul, yanking me back to the tenacious essence and interminable power of truth.

“You don’t throw a whole life away just because it’s banged up a little.”

I was done.

Although

Does God Need My Money?

by Mary Southerland | | 2 comments

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My husband is a surrendered giver. But I struggle with giving. I tend to blame my reluctance to give on the fact that I grew up in a shack on the edge of town. My mother often worked two and three jobs a day just to put food on the table.

My husband, on the other hand, grew up in a middle-class family, lived in a very nice house in a beautiful neighborhood, and never had to worry about having his needs met. You can see where my rationalizations took me. Yep – to a place of sin. 

God wants us to surrender everything we have to Him because the reality is that giving is the antidote to selfishness. I

Time for an Attitude Check

by Mary Southerland | | no comments

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My husband was a youth pastor for many years before becoming the senior pastor of a church. I learned many important life lessons during those years of working with youth. One of those lessons was accountability.

Several times a year, we would load our high school and college kids on a Greyhound bus and travel to a conference or mission field to help needy churches. Most of our trips required driving through the night to avoid the expense of staying in a hotel.

Long hours on a bus at night was the perfect setting for young romance to flourish. So Dan devised a plan that helped nip those blossoming romances in the bud. At any given moment, Dan would yell,

The Lesson of the Lost Boat

by Mary Southerland | | 6 comments

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The story is told of a young boy who carved a sailboat from a block of wood. When the boat was finished, the boy raced to a nearby stream, gently slid the boat into the water, and let it go. The boy watched his precious boat gather speed as it floated away. He didn’t realize there was an undercurrent in the stream until the boat was swept away beyond his reach. The little boy frantically searched until there was no light but couldn’t find his boat. With a heavy heart, the young boy headed home.

Several days later, the little boy was walking down the main street of his small town, when he saw a wooden boat in the

How Do You Harness Your Anger?

by Mary Southerland | | 7 comments

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I could not believe my eyes! I had decided to go grocery shopping – a chore I hate with all my heart. I drove around the parking lot, looking for a good parking spot – and there she was. A woman standing in the middle of a parking place waving cars away. Why? She was saving the spot for her husband who was circling the lot.

I had a choice to make. I could give in to my rising anger or I could harness that anger and drive away, praying that someone did not mow down that woman with their car.

And then, the story of Jesus confronting the money changers in the temple came to mind.

When Jesus saw money

Are You Making Room for God?

by Mary Southerland | | 4 comments

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One summer, our family went to Pennsylvania, where we visited Amish country. Amish people have always fascinated me, and I enjoy every minute spent in their beautiful and carefully ordered world.

As our visit ended, I wanted to buy a souvenir to remind me of the peaceful days we had spent there, but everything I picked up was too expensive. But, being a committed shopper, I did not let that stop me. 

We traveled up and down each community’s small, hidden back roads, looking for the Amish products known only to a few and to those relentless shoppers who were willing to persevere. I was beginning to lose hope when I spotted the small, white sign posted on the fence

What is Your Label?

by Mary Southerland | | 3 comments

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Have you ever wondered if God even knows your name? Have you doubted His awareness or even His concern about what you are going through? Have there been times when you felt totally alone and worthless? I have. I can really relate to the woman described in Luke 13. Oh, our problems may not be exactly the same, but the feelings and emotions are – and so is the answer.  

Jesus knew this woman. He knew she had been sick for 18 long years and that she had tried everything to be healed. He knew – but He looked past her pain and saw who she really was, and all she was created to be. And just as He

How Much Faith Does It Take?

by Mary Southerland | | 3 comments

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I am not a quitter! What some might call stubbornness, I prefer to call perseverance – especially when it comes to growing flowers and plants.

We recently downsized and moved to a house with a small wooden deck in the backyard. I took one look at that deck and could almost hear it crying out for beautiful plants spilling over the edges of brightly colored ceramic planters. My stubbornness … uh, perseverance … kicked in, and I thought, “I can do this!”

I headed to the local nursery where they know me. And by “know me” I mean they understand that I can kill just about any living plant known to mankind.

Linda greeted me with a smile. Linda and I

When I am Weak – I am Strong!

by Mary Southerland | | 3 comments

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For many years, I did everything I could to hide any weakness in my life. When that didn’t work, I simply pretended those weak areas didn’t exist. Why? Because if I was weak, how could Jesus love me? How could anyone love me? How could I love myself?  

When our son, Jered, began to walk, I immediately noticed that his feet turned inward. Our pediatrician recommended a specialist who examined Jered thoroughly, then ordered several x-rays. The more he examined Jered, the more concerned we became. When the specialist finally called us in for a consultation, we braced ourselves for bad news. 

The doctor’s stoic face revealed nothing, but his diagnosis was a gift. “There is nothing wrong with Jered’s

Dealing With People Who Rub You the Wrong Way

by Mary Southerland | | 1 comment

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Sandpaper people, the people who rub us the wrong way, are not only a reality of life but also a gift from God. God has used these difficult relationships as catalysts in my life through which He has lovingly upset my comfortable plans and purposefully redirected my self-ordered steps. The results have often been chaotic and unsettling, but always life-changing.

As a junior in high school, our son Jered experienced his first surgery to repair a broken bone in his foot. The orthopedic surgeon explained what he would do during surgery. “I’ll remove the scar tissue that has formed around the break. I will then insert a metal screw to connect the broken bones.” As he spoke, I was

The Manufacturer’s Guarantee

by Mary Southerland | | 1 comment

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In the early days of the automobile, a man’s Model – T Ford stalled in the middle of the road. No matter what he tried, he couldn’t get it started. A chauffeured limousine pulled up behind the stalled car and a wiry, energetic man stepped from the back seat to offer his assistance.

After tinkering with the engine for a few moments, the stranger said, “Now try it!” Immediately, the engine leaped to life. The well-dressed man then identified himself as Henry Ford. “I designed and built these cars,” he said, “So I know what to do when something goes wrong.”

When our lives are broken, when the plan falls apart and everything goes wrong, we need to wait on

Out of the Darkness and Into the Light

by Mary Southerland | | 6 comments

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Children are wonderfully different.

When our son Jered was nine months old, he began to pull up on every piece of furniture he could find. He maneuvered his way around our home until the day he took his first step … alone. It was a step of inches, but we celebrated as if he had run a marathon.

Our daughter Danna had a different plan. When she was ten months old, Danna stood up, looked around, and trotted across the room. Jered and Danna both walk extremely well today as young adults, but they both began with tiny steps … and in their own way.

Nobody gets depressed overnight, and nobody overcomes depression overnight. The journey out of the pit is

In Search of the Wounded Ones

by Mary Southerland | | 2 comments

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Hamburgers are a regular item on the Southerland summer menu … for several reasons. Hamburgers are inexpensive, easy to prepare, and scrumptious.

On one particularly hot summer night, I was craving hamburgers. So, I fired up the grill on our deck and began to prepare the hamburger patties.

I didn’t want to be in the scorching heat one minute longer than I had to be, so I quickly seasoned the hamburger patties, slapped them on the grill, and headed back inside.

Our daughter met me at the door with our grandson who was looking for his Mimi. That’s me.

When Justus saw me, he smiled and stretched out his chubby little arms for me to hold him. I grabbed him and promptly

Finding a Holy Balance

by Mary Southerland | | 10 comments

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I had a list of things to get done – even though my back was killing me. When my husband walked in from work, I gave him a quick hug and resumed my almost frantic pace.

“What are you doing, honey?” Dan asked.

With one of my famous sighs, I responded, “I just need to get a few things done.”

“How’s your back?” Dan persisted.

With growing irritation, I answered, “It hurts!”

Dan quietly watched me for a few minutes. “You don’t know how to sit down, do you?” he finally said.

My first response was irritation – which quickly escalated into anger – until I heard the unmistakable prompting of the Holy Spirit affirming the truth Dan had spoken. I needed to learn

This World is Not My Home

by Mary Southerland | | 3 comments

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Heaven is on my mind these days. The holidays have a way of bringing to mind the family and friends waiting for me there.

Christmas vividly reminds me that this world is not my home. Heaven is. When I came to Christ in a personal relationship, my citizenship was changed from Earth to Heaven. And what a sweet exchange it was for me!

Heaven is where Jesus is.

“LORD, look down from the heavens and see; look at us from your wonderful and holy home in heaven” (Isaiah 63:15a NCV).

Heaven is a real place, a beautiful city of light.

“The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, because the glory of God is its light, and

Keeping My Eyes on Him

by Mary Southerland | | 7 comments

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The story is told of a shepherd who tried to persuade his sheep to cross a swiftly flowing stream. Since sheep are naturally afraid of rapidly running water, the shepherd couldn’t get them to cross. Then he had an idea.

Picking up a lamb, the shepherd stepped into the river and carried the lamb to the opposite shore. When the mother saw that the shepherd had safely led her lamb across the stream, she forgot her fear and stepped out in faith and into the rushing current. Soon, she was safely on the other side. The rest of the flock followed.

Valleys are lined with disappointment and discouragement and sometimes streams of rapidly running water. Some people seem to thrive

It Doesn’t Take a Lot of Faith – Right?

by Mary Southerland | | 2 comments

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I am not a quitter! What some might call stubbornness, I prefer to call perseverance – especially when it comes to growing flowers and plants.

We recently downsized and moved to a house with a small wooden deck in the backyard. I took one look at that deck and could almost hear it crying out for beautiful plants spilling over the edges of brightly colored ceramic planters. My stubbornness … uh, perseverance … kicked in, and I thought, “I can do this!”

I headed to the local nursery where they know me. And by “know me” I mean they understand that I can kill just about any living plant known to mankind.

Linda greeted me with a smile. She and I

Because He Said So

by Mary Southerland | | 5 comments

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How many times were the words, “Because I said so!” spoken to you by a parent? I was determined to never say those words to our children. Of course, I failed to keep that commitment.

But I do remember the first time those words slipped out of my mouth! I was shocked. My next thought was how many times has God spoken those words to me?

Hearing the truth is only half the battle. Obeying the truth is where the real battle begins.

Jesus taught about this very thing in the parable of the soils. He compares those who hear the truth but do not act on it as follows:

“When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand

Is Normal a Good Thing?

by Mary Southerland | | 3 comments

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Normal can be a good thing.

Like when the doctor’s office calls to say that the test results are normal or when the mechanic tells you that the funny noise your car is making will not cost you hundreds of dollars to repair – it is just a normal part of wear and tear.

But when it comes to our spiritual lives – normal may not always be a good thing.

I am a pastor’s wife and love the fact that God has called me to serve beside my husband in that role. But some people think a pastor’s wife should look, act, speak, and dress a certain way. I tend to think God called me to be Mary … and