But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken (Matthew 12:36 NIV).
Friend to Friend
During the holiday season, when interaction with family and friends is increased, I find myself with extra opportunities to bite my tongue. Anyone else? Jesus said that the words we speak reflect the true condition of our hearts.
“Make a tree good and its fruit will be good or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matthew 12:33-37 NIV).
Since every word we speak matters, it’s important our words are life-giving. Here’s a three-question tool that helps even the spiciest individual speak words that honor God, benefit others, and builds them up. Before you speak, make sure your words make the KUT—the KUT test that is:
- Are they kind?
- Are they useful?
- Are they true?
KIND: Who doesn’t like a kind word? We all do. So, before we speak, we ask ourselves: is what I’m about to say kind? If our words will un-righteously ruffle someone’s feathers, then it’s better not to speak them. (There are times when words need to ruffle feathers. True enough. But they should still be kind, constructive, and God-honoring.) If what I am about to say is unkind, then it fails the KUT test, and I zip my lip. No talky.
USEFUL: Oh, how we can complain and vie for control. Our expectations of others can stir us up: we think we know how they should act, communicate, behave, and respond. The truth of the matter is, we cannot choose behavior for others, but we can choose for ourselves.
When my buttons are pushed, I have several choices. I can choose to be sassy and destructive. I can choose not to respond and engage in the argument. Or I can choose to respond in kindness that has the potential to calm a flustered heart. See? Lots of options. But my best choice is to pray first, then choose my response.
TRUE: Let me jump on this one right away with a qualifier: just because something is true does not mean it’s wise to say it. Here’s why. What we have to say might be true, but if it is neither kind nor useful, then—in most cases— it doesn’t need to be said. So, truth is not reason enough to say something.
The Bible says our words are to “benefit” those to whom we speak (Ephesians 4:29). Truth must be spoken in light of both wisdom and grace.
Jesus prayed that God would sanctify us in his truth, which is the Word of God (John 17:17). And that, friend, is the best thing for us when it comes to our words. Our words need to be sifted through God’s truth. If what we are about to say does not line up with Scripture, then we simply should not say it.
Kind. Useful. True.
Obviously, this is not an exhaustive list of guidelines, but it’s a simple tool that can help train us to have a biblical mindset as we learn to be positive and productive in our conversations. The KUT test helps to sift out words of anger, hurt, negativity, rudeness, arrogance, prejudice, ignorance, and foolishness. And so much more!
It’s like a Brita for our mouths!
I’d call that productive, wouldn’t you?
Dear Lord, I really need Your help with this one. I want all of my conversations to be positive and constructive . . . led by Your kindness . . . useful and true. Please help me to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.
In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Now It’s Your Turn
Which of the 3-steps in the KUT test do you think will be most helpful for you to implement? Why?
Let’s pray together today. Meet us in the comments section to share your heart and pray for one another.
More From the Girlfriends
Today’s post is an excerpt from Gwen Smith’s book, I Want It ALL. Ready to narrow the gap between ordinary faith and the not-so-ordinary promises of God found in His Word?
© 2022 by Gwen Smith. All rights reserved.
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