Friend to Friend

Just yesterday, my son validated the heart of my issue. He drew a picture of Mommy. I was curious, so I asked him, “What is Mommy doing in that picture?”

He said, “She is thinking.”

He then drew the brain bubble that floats up in the sky like a hovering cloud of declaration. I said, “What is Mommy thinking about? What goes in that little bubble?” I was pretty certain I was just about to finally be crowned Super Mommy—the queen of peanut butter and jelly!

His answer? “She is thinking about herself.”

Boom! And there you have it. With the force of a busted salt shaker hitting an open wound, I was stung with truth: Mommy is thinking about herself (again).

As controllers, it’s hard not to be, isn’t it?

We exchange relationship for rapid-fire orders.

We exchange love for lists.

We exchange being for doing.

We exchange journey for daily destinations, pick-ups, and deadlines.

Our need to feel at ease often makes us forget other’s deep needs.

Don’t get me wrong; we have things handled. We are very good at reaching surface level, face value, and situational goals. That is covered. The floors are wiped and the Is are dotted and the Ts are crossed. But, just as my son revealed, sometimes we get so busy handling all we have to handle that we become dismantled. People suffer.

It’s right about this moment where a detailed woman, a try-harder like me, says, “I didn’t do well, but I’ll fix myself; I promise you. I will do whatever it takes to get things right. I’ll drop and give you twenty, I’ll find the answer online, or I’ll make an action plan.”

I. Will. Improve.

Personally, I’d do anything to make life okay; however, I am finding that usually all that needs to be said is this: “Lord!”

Not, “Lord! Those people should get their act together.”

Not, “Lord! Things aren’t going well, again.”

Not, “Lord! When will people move a little bit faster?”

Not, “Lord! If I want something done well, I have to do it myself.”

Not, “Lord! I can’t trust anyone.”

Not, “Lord! When will You do what I need You to do?”

No, more like:

Lord! I need You, Jesus.

Lord, I can’t do it without You.

Lord, saying I don’t know how—it just scares me.

I need You. I am not sure what will happen when I let go. I just need You. I don’t know how to fix people. I just need You. When I frantically try to fix and fashion things my way, I need You.

It really just comes down to this: “Come, Lord! Help me to stop being a dictator and start being an abider. Lord, it is all You. I can’t do it, but You can.”

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26).

This simple acknowledgement of “I can’t” gives you the eyes to see – He can.

And, somewhere in this space, as you get on your knees, control flees and the breeze of peace flows in.

Let’s Pray

Dear Lord, I hold on to life tightly. Help me to let go. May I remember when I can’t, You can. May I understand the depths of Your love and sit in the lengths of Your peace. Bring me to greater surrender, so I may know You more.

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

Where have you gripped life so hard your hand is leaving a mark? How has control negatively impacted your attitude, relationships or outcomes? What would it look like to know, you can’t – but God always can?

More from the Girlfriends

Join Kelly Balarie, author of Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears, as she goes on a journey to go and grow with Christ’s bravery, the Spirit’s counsel and God’s unending love that squelches all fear. Kelly is blogger at Purposeful Faith, a Cheerleader of Faith and a Fighter of Fear. She continually leans on the power of God, rests on the shoulder of Christ, and discovers how to glow in the dark places of life.

(Today’s devotion is an excerpt from Fear Fighting by Kelly Balarie. Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, 2017. Used with permission. www.BakerPublishingGroup.com.)