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Today’s Truth

I will not forget you. Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of my hands.

Isaiah 49:15-16

Friend to Friend

Have you ever felt alone, scared, angry, confused, and hurt all at the same time? Ever felt like running away from a difficult situation? I have. There was a time when I wanted to run—hard and fast—from life as I knew it.

I was a young mom with three babies that had been born within three and a half years. (A maternal trifecta!) Then, to everybody’s surprise, my husband got a promotion that moved our seedling family across the country to a place where we didn’t know anybody.

I jokingly refer to that time as the “blurry era.” I had two babies in diapers that carried around their blankies, and one “big boy” who was potty training and struggling to say goodbye to his binky. There was always a diaper to change, a mouth to feed, or a mess to clean up.

My days were a blur and my emotions were overloaded.

I was tired 24/7.

Each day, my husband Brad wore a suit, smelled of cologne, and drove to a sleek metropolitan high rise. I wore sweats, smelled of either throw up, baby food, or formula, and stayed home with three little humans who constantly cried, ate, played, made a mess, or slept (but never at the same time).

Brad earned his company’s President’s Club Award that year. I earned our family’s Pouter Club Award.

I had left the work force and surrendered my weekly paycheck to wipe little bottoms and snotty noses. While I love my children dearly and did enjoy many sweet mommy moments, life didn’t seem fair at the time.

As a young mom, I regularly wrestled with my role in our family. My identity felt muted. Chained down. I felt that to embrace my position as a stay-at-home mom was the equivalent of hugging a porcupine. I didn’t want to do it! I associated my worth with my work…and wrongly so.

I allowed my self-worth to be determined by variable factors.

I felt less valuable as a woman, and I felt alone.

Post partum depression was my reality. In darker moments, I felt invisible and insignificant. As if the world might be better without me.

So many women struggle with these same feelings. Perhaps you are wrestling with feelings of insignificance right now. Allow these words of Jesus to turn your heart to the truth of your value:

“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. (Luke 12:6-7)

I struggled to view myself as God did.

During that season Scripture was essential to train my heart on truth. (It still is!) God also used a friend to remind me of my value. He answered prayers that never even made it past my lips when he sent me a priceless girlfriend named Peg. She was a young mom who had also just left the workforce. We laughed together, cried together, prayed together, watched each other’s children, and encouraged one another. She was a true blessing in that desperate season of life.

Do you have friends like Peg? Are you that friend to anyone else?

Christian community makes such a difference. It’s important that we don’t push people away and isolate. It’s important that we don’t push God away. When we open our hearts and our homes to others and embrace the truth of who God says we are, we become vessels of encouragement and esteem to one another.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: if one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)

Let’s Pray

Dear Lord, Thanks for the beauty of friendship and for reminding me that I am never beyond Your sight or Your reach. Help me to face blurry and emotionally charged days with a courage that is firmly routed in your strength.

In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

Read what the Lord said through the prophet Isaiah in Isaiah 49:15-16, “Can a woman forget her nursing child and have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, but I will not forget you. Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands.”

How does this affect you to know that this is God’s heart for you?

More from the Girlfriends

Portions of today’s devotion are from Gwen’s book Broken Into Beautiful. If you’re brave enough to get real so that you—and those you love—can discover true freedom and God’s extravagant restoration, get your copy today. To order the book go to Amazon or, for a signed copy, visit Gwen’s web store.

6 Responses to “When Life is Blurry”

  1. Vanessa says:

    Thank you for this devotion. I am a stay at home mom and currently in a very similar situation where my husband and I have 2 year old twins and a 3 year old and we just relocated to Raleigh, NC for my husbands new job. We have been here 6 weeks now and I think I’m finally adjusting but it was definitely not easy at first. It’s nice to hear that I am not alone and you have also gone through a very similar struggle and still managed to make it!

  2. Kathy says:

    I have isolated myself battling a depression parenting a 20 year old son with a mental illness with a husband with the same mental illness; no desire to help. I care for my aging mom after my dad passed away 2 years ago & have fallen so many times. I am trying to stay focused on the scriptures that help boost me but am so tired. Some days when the 2 men are OK, days are OK, other days like yesterday my mom, my son & my hubby take all the strength I have; borrow strength from the days ahead. I am drained & alone.

  3. Molly Balk says:

    My Husband and I were married last August and since then we’ve both changed careers, sold our home and have been living with different family members for the last 8 months. In September we moved from Denver to a small town in Washington state where his family is. It’s been another big adjustment; still living with family, not having our own space and things, not exactly working, and feeling directionless and worthless at times. Today’s Devotion hit hard. I needed it. Luke 12:7 has come up a few times, years ago, when I was going through hard times. It Was nice to be reminded that we are special and cared for by a Loving God. Things will work out in His time, but it’s still hard sometimes. These Devotions help so much! Thank You!

  4. Emily says:

    I too was a mother of 3 boys in 3-1/2 years and man it was the roughest of times. I remember of thinking that all I did all day was change diapers, feed them, and clean up after them and felt of little or no worth to the world. I was always exhausted and my husband always wondered what I did all day. I thank God for getting me through those days with no help from family. Being a friend now to others in that place is so important, God gives you the strength to get through that to help others with it. We are worth much more than sparrows. Remember at the end of the day that those little hands and feet are all gifts from God and all honor and praise to him for giving us those precious gifts. And the days we feel like throwing in the towel remember that Jesus did so much for us, the sacrifice that HE made was more then we could bear. Thank you for the reminder of what God has given me the strength to get through.

  5. Angela says:

    Thank you for this! It was much needed for me today. My husband followed God’s call on his life and went back to school 2 years ago. He graduated this past May and is now working in his called career. I quit my job of 3 1/2 years this past March to stay at home with our son. I’ve struggled with asking God, when will it be my turn. Things have been tough financially and strenuous on our marriage. I’ve struggled so much lately with feelings of self worth and feeling like what I do matters. Reading this piece of your past lets me know I’m not alone and I appreciate it so much!

  6. Tamie says:

    I really enjoyed the devotional life does seem a little blurry now and again and it doesn’t matter if you move away from family or your marriage is in a difficult state right now. I thank God that it is him that’s in charge of my life because if it were left up to me my life would be pain and blur free.
    But God is faithful to his word and he watches over it and it will not return to him void. Just like the word says I have been inscribed on the palm of his hand,and he won’t get me confused with anyone else that is there he knows me and everything that is going crazy in my life at this time. Thank you for the encouragement today.

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