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Today’s Truth

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love”

Romans 8:38

Friend to Friend

For years we were joined at the hip. Not a day went by when we didn’t talk on the phone at least once.

But sometimes friendships come unhinged. People change. Perspectives change. Purposes change. Passions change. While nothing went terribly wrong, and no hurtful words were exchanged, the void was vast beyond bridging. I felt tossed away. Discarded. Of little regard. Erased as if I had never been. Worthless.

Perhaps you’ve felt that way at some point in your life. It’s a hard “dis-ease” to define. To put your finger on and say, “Yes, that’s where it hurts.” For me, it was a niggling ache. A haunting hurt that shot straight through at unexpected times.

Why was I having trouble letting go? Why were my feet stuck in the sucking mire of memories? Me—the woman who taught others how to leave the past behind. “But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead” (Philippians 3:13 nasb).

Yep. I memorized it. I taught it. I flashed it on the screen in PowerPoint Technicolor.

But there was this…

I was reading a book by Canadian Mark Buchanan, Your God Is Too Safe, and he diagnosed my heart-sickness with one fell swoop of his pen. That “thing” I had been struggling with but couldn’t define. My own deepest heart wounds have been inflicted by people who never set out to hurt me. It was worse. At some point they stopped even caring that what they did would hurt me. I became beside the point. My existence ceased to matter. The importance I believed I occupied in the heart of the other, the place of cherishing I thought was reserved for me turned out to be a myth.

Just as clearly as a physician who delivers a diagnosis would, Mark laid bare the crux of my problem: I became beside the point. My existence ceased to matter. For me, it was the worst kind of pain. A malignancy that spread and gnawed on other areas of my life.

Now that I had a diagnosis, now that the dis-ease had a name, I was faced with a choice. That’s what God does, you know. He doesn’t reveal a soul-sickness just for the sake of revelation, but always to bring healing…repentance…to help make you well. When He reveals an infectious soul-sickness, one you’ve never noticed or could define before, it’s as if He’s saying, “Now is the time.” When He shows you a lie that has become your truth, it’s time to reject that lie and replace it with His truth.

Jesus understands what it feels like to be of “no consequence” to someone (or many someones). Your arrow of pain shoots straight through the heart, comes out the other side, and finds its mark in the pierced hands and feet of Jesus, the pierced side of Jesus, the broken heart of Jesus. “By his wounds we are healed” (Isaiah 53:5).

He gets it. He wants you to let Him take it. Let it go—not just into oblivion, but onto Him. Into Him. Here’s what Jesus wants you to know. Here is the truth:

You are of great consequence. You are significant. Your existence will never cease to matter. You have great worth.

Stop and do something for me. Draw a circle. Now draw a dot in the middle of the circle. What do you see?

Did you say “a dot?” I did when someone asked me the same question.

But look at all that space around the dot! Inside. Outside.

Now think of the all-encompassing love of God. Above you. Beside you. Under you. You couldn’t get away from it if you tried. That’s the space inside the circle and outside the circle. That little tiny dot represents that person or the persons who have hurt you intentionally or unintentionally, the person or persons you’ve allowed to make you feel worthless. Why in the world do we look at the circle and see only the dot? Why don’t we see the space?

Why in the world do we focus on the one person who has hurt us, or doesn’t care about us, and not on all the people in our lives who do love us? On the God who loves us?

Here’s what I’m challenging you to do: Stop focusing on the dot. Focus on the space around the dot. The dot is just that—a dot! She’s a dot. He’s a dot. God’s love for you, and all the other people in your world who love you—including me—are the space.

Let’s Pray

Heavenly Father, thank You for loving me. Help me to focus less on what others think of me and more on what You think of me. Thank You that nothing will ever separate me from Your love. I rest in the truth that You will never get tired of me or leave me.

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

Turn to Romans 8:31-39 in your Bible. Write as many truths about God’s love as you can find in these nine verses.

How does that make you feel? Significant or insignificant?

More from the Girlfriends

Today’s devotion was taken from Sharon’s new release, Enough: Silencing the Lies that Steal Your Confidence. This book is a revised and expanded version of I’m Not Good Enough, with 50% new material.

Do the voices in your head tell you that you are not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, or just not enough, period? If so, it’s time to stop listening to the lies that sabotage your confidence and start embracing the truth of your true identity in Christ. It’s time to overcome the lies of the enemy with the promises of God.

Enough exposes the lies that keep you bogged down in guilt, shame, and insecurity. By recognizing the lies, rejecting the lies, and replacing the lies with truth, you’ll be able to:

  • silence the voice inside that whispers you’re not good enough
  • accept God’s grace and no longer allow past failures to define you or confine you
  • be preloaded with the truth to fight insecurities
  • walk in the surefootedness confidence of God’s unconditional love

12 Responses to “When You Feel as Though You Just Don’t Matter”

  1. Sarah says:

    Thank you for the devotional this morning. Just the lift I needed. God always saves me from myself and keeps me from going into that deep dark pit. What an awesome God we serve. I’m glad He love me first. Thanks

  2. Naomi says:

    Thank You for this message this morning.
    I really needed it.
    I have being struggling two days now to forgive someone for what he did to me.
    I really want to let go so our relationship can be back to normal. I have prayed and have faith but it has been difficult.

    Thank you for this article

  3. Judy Bateman says:

    Thanks for sharing. When I retired a co-worker said some words to me that i still cherish. People come into our lives for reasons and seasons; so from those few words I always think of when I don’t always keep connection with friend. But I do know God is a friend forever.

  4. Lydia says:

    Over the years, my dad would often say to me, “You’re looking at the hole instead of the doughnut.” It applies in many situations, including this one.

    Life has so much to do with where we fix our eyes. When we fix our eyes on Jesus, we gain a new perspective, and moving forward seems less daunting. So thankful for His love and faithfulness in the face of our doubts and struggles!

  5. Marsha says:

    This, “ When You Feel You Just Don’t Matter”, should be read by all jounior and high school boys and girls, not to mention all adults. It takes a very well thought person to get this and share it with us who just go wow by reading it. Thank you Girlfriends In God, I have found a wonderful place to be inspired and read more of God’s beautiful words. How special to at Easter time and the resurrection of our Lord and Savior. 🙏🏻

  6. Mary smith says:

    But what do you do when it is God who has made you feel that you don’t matter? When your deepest heart wound appears to have been allowed / inflicted by God?

  7. Chelsea says:

    Just read this at work and it really ministered to me. Made me tear up. I have made so many mistakes allowing other people to make me feel like I don’t matter, like I am worthless and that I grew to have so much self hate. I went through an emotionally abusive relationship that I numbed myself through and lost who I was. After I left that relationship I fell for liars over and over again who made me believe that I meant something and they would drop me once they got what they wanted, what ever that may have been. How these soul ties can make you feel defeated and destroyed. However, this helps me remember that God always will think I am worth it. It is comforting feeling knowing He is always listening, always there for me no matter what I feel and never forsake or betray me because He truly loves me for who I am. Thank you for this truth.

  8. Karen says:

    Sharon I needed to hear these truths today! I am going through compounded grief on top of PTSD from trauma, all while the hurts of how others have treated me were also thrown into the fire.

    Dealing with this has been hard, but I push towards what lies ahead (healing) and this picture you painted works much better than someone telling you “ignore what others think” could ever do. God is good to me!

  9. Martha says:

    What a great perspective! She was always a dot. Whenever I see her I will always say to myself “she’s a Dot.” How simple a concept but powerful and freeing! Thanks Sharon, love you.

  10. sophs says:

    i needed this.
    he just upped and stopped talking to me. stopped picking my calls or replying my messages. this is someone who barely a week ago was professing his undying love for me. ive been left so confused and feeling worthless. was it something i said or did? am i unlovable? will i ever be loved?
    i needed this. thank you and God bless you.

  11. Anna says:

    Lydia, I LOVE what your dad used to say! I have never heard that. So childlike and yet so encouraging. Thank you for sharing!

    Thank you Sharon for you encouraging words. Friendship heartbreak is the hardest to overcome it seems. It affects all our future relationships. Only Christ can heal and satisfy our longing for that deep relationship.

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