Today’s Truth

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Matthew 6:14-15

Friend to Friend

One last wish.

The longing of a dying mother’s heart.

A wish that only one person could have satisfied. But he didn’t.

If you’ve read any of my books, you know that my childhood was a cauldron of violent arguments, alcohol-induced rage, and physically terrifying fights. As a child I saw things that a child should never see and heard things that a child should never hear. My parents were a mess. Their kids were even messier.

But God—my two favorite words in the Bible.

I met Jesus in a powerful way when I was fourteen years old, my mom followed when I was seventeen, and my mean old dad accepted Christ when I was twenty. Our family was a portrait of mercy and grace painted by the hand of an all-loving God.

A lot of forgiveness took place over the next thirty years as God reshaped and remolded once hardened hearts. But not everyone received the gift. Some held it at arms length and said, “No thanks. I’m hanging onto my hate.” Some chose to cling to unforgiveness and grasp resentment with a tight unrelenting fist. And the gift of grace was refused.

My mom did not get her final wish…to see one of her children one last time. I was sad for her, but mostly, I was sad for him. He missed the blessing of seeing the miracle of Mom’s gentleness, Mom’s humble kindness, Mom’s overflowing love for her family. He missed the preciousness of her final days.

Friend, I don’t want you to miss out on a single blessing God has for you. Not a one. Nothing will block the flow of grace like an unforgiving heart. Unforgiveness is drinking a poison and waiting for the other person to die. Forgiveness is setting the prisoner free and realizing the prisoner was you.

Once there was a little boy who had his hand caught in a valuable vase. After many failed attempts to get it free, his father decided the only solution was to smash the vase. But before the hammer came down upon the delicate porcelain, his father said, “Son, let’s try one more time. Open your hand inside the vase, and then bring your fingertips together. Now, try and slide your hand out of the opening.”

Then the boy looked up at his dad and replied, “I can’t, Daddy. If I do that, I’ll drop my penny.”

How many times do we miss out on God’s abundant blessings because we hold onto the pennies?






Pennies all.

Are you clinging to unforgiveness with a tightly-clenched fist that says, “By golly I am not going to forgive that person who hurt me? She/He doesn’t deserve it!”

I am struck with the words of Paul to the Colossians: “Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13). Forgiveness is not for the benefit of the person who hurt you. It is for the benefit of the one doing the forgiving.

I don’t want you to miss out on a single one of God’s blessings. Let go of unforgiveness. Grab hold of grace. Be free.

Let’s Pray
Lord, thank You for forgiving me. I don’t want to miss out on any of the blessings You have for me because of a hardened heart. Today I forgive _________ for __________ once and for all. Even though I don’t feel like it, I am obeying Your command. I am letting go of this penny and coming to You with an opened hand to receive all You have for me.

In Jesus’ Name.


Now It’s Your Turn

Read Matthew 18:21-35.

What do you learn about forgiveness from this parable?

Which person in the story do you want to be like?

More from the Girlfriends

The devil is a liar. He is the one who tells us that we can’t forgive the person who hurt us. But we’re not going to let him win. We are going to replace that lie with God’s truth!

Do the voices in your head tell you that you are not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, or just not enough, period? If so, it’s time to stop listening to the lies that sabotage your confidence and start embracing the truth of your true identity in Christ. It’s time to overcome the lies of the enemy with the promises of God.

Join me in the Enough: Silencing the Lies that Steal Your Confidence Bible study beginning Oct 9-Nov 26. Click here to sign up!

6 Responses to “What You Miss When You Don’t Forgive”

  1. Holly says:

    Praying so hard that my youngest daughter forgives me for things I have said in frustration and out of pain from her slowly pushing me out of her life, that God will reveal that I did not allow what happened to her, to happen and that if I’d known, I’d have stopped it, that I’d die for her…. the enemy has convinced her of a lie…and it is tearing my tiny, 3 person family apart. She hasn’t spoken to me in a year and a half. I haven’t seen her since she graduated from college. Now she’s getting married, so I hear…it’s like a death… My older sister did this to my Mother, I understand, now, how it hurt her. I love my child, I forgive her, and I’d welcome her back with open arms with no questions or accusations. I just pray she will listen to God, soften her heart, and slowly begin to forgive. I have no phone number, she doesn’t answer emails or letters… It hurts, but God has me. He knows my heart and how I’ve changed throughout this waiting. I’ve looked for the lessons He’s wanted to teach me. My strength and my faith have both grown stronger because I’m leaning so heavily on Him. I know that even if we don’t reconcile on earth, we will reconcile in Heaven.

  2. Joy says:

    Amen, forgiveness is a blessing and a gift to yourself.

  3. Bernadette says:

    Wow! Your devotional today is the epitome of my family and you MUST be my “sister from another mother”. The harsh reality is that everyone in my family suffered emotional, psychologically, and physically at the hands of my alcoholic, abusive father (and my mom got her licks in too due to her stress levels). Even though my dad stopped drinking alcohol 45 years ago and the physical violence stopped, his emotional, verbal, and psychological traumas have continued and now my mom & I have to contend with his verbal and emotional assaults as a result of a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s Disease. My brother has had no contact with us for over 10-15 years. But your two words have also become mine..”But God” and understanding that God is the burden bearer and how He asks us to Come unto him…and He will give us rest..taking his burden because the yoke is easy and the burden becomes light. Thank you Sharon for your sharing this powerful truths about forgiveness and the detriment of unforgiveness. I pray for reconciliation between my brother and the rest of the family and that this will happen before it’s too late or when memories are wiped away.

  4. Good words here. Would like to subscribe to this site. Thanks. Mary Ann Cauthen

  5. Angela Vance says:

    Our home is constant anger, bitterness, frustration, being overwhelmed, hateful words and tones… We’ve been in the middle of a big change which should give huge relief and start to allow for healing, but the delays have been many and frustrating. I know my own words are not what God wants and not a good witness to my daughter, but no matter how much I’ve prayed, it just doesn’t seem to change. As Paul said”the things I don’t want to do, I do…” Pray for us ..I want healing for my daughter, myself, my mom, our family so we can be a family and that I don’t have to hate the word family anymore.

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