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Today’s Truth

“I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first.”

(Revelation 2:4-5 NIV)

Note from Sharon: I know that devotions on marriage are difficult for many who are not married and perhaps would like to be. That’s why we usually keep the marriage devotions that minister to thousands of women in the month of February. Whether you are married or single, please join us at GiG in praying for marriages all around the world.

Friend to Friend

What do you do when you’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’? Maybe you truly adored your husband in the beginning, but now you can’t remember why. Maybe you honestly admired his finer qualities, but now you can’t remember what they were. Maybe you appreciated his wonderful attributes, but now you take them for granted. What do you do now?

Here’s a statistic you might find interesting. According to an analysis of the National Survey of Families and Households, 86 percent of unhappily married people who stick it out find that, five years later, their marriages are happier. In fact, nearly 60 percent of those who rated their marriage as unhappy and who stayed married rated their same marriage “very happy” or “quite happy” when re-interviewed five years later. In comparison, those who divorced and remarried divorced again at a rate of 60 percent.

Starting over may very well be the answer to your marriage problems—as long as it’s with the same man!

In the book of Revelation, God had this to say to the church at Ephesus: “I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first” (Revelation 2:4). Ephesus was one of the most loving churches in the New Testament, and yet somewhere along the way they lost that initial thrill of knowing Christ. Their love for each other and for God had grown cold.

Perhaps you are a woman who has forgotten the thrill you felt when you first met your husband—the spine-tingling chills when he walked into a room, the heart-skipping flutter when he called on the phone, the tender wooing when you saw his name in your email in-box, the electricity of sexual desire stirred with a kiss. Between taking out the garbage, paying the bills, running the carpool, mowing the lawn, disciplining the kids, and folding the laundry, something got lost. We can get so busy taking care of life that we forget to take care of love.

How do you get that lovin’ feelin’ back? God gave the church two simple steps, and I believe we can apply them to marriage as well. “Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first” (Revelation 2:5 NIV)

Remember how it was in the beginning.

Return and do the things you did at first.

Remember what drew you to your husband in the first place? Remember the things you did at first? How you tried to please him, capture his heart, and win his affection? That may have been 50 pounds less and a full head of hair ago, but that young man who longed to be adored, admired, and appreciated still lives within his heart. Let him know he does.

Let’s Pray

Heavenly Father, I’ll admit that sometimes I get so busy taking care of life, that I neglect to take care of love. Help me to keep my marriage a priority above all other earthy relationships. Help me to remember all that I loved about my husband in the early years and take steps to keep my marriage strong.

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

Make a list of firsts in your relationship: first date, first kiss, first dance, and first time you met each other’s parents.

Ask your husband what he remembers most about your wedding day and your honeymoon.

Look at your wedding photo album together and talk about what first attracted you to each other.

These might not seem like very “spiritual” devotional applications, but when you consider that your marriage is meant to glorify God, then I think God would heartily say…it is.

More from the Girlfriends

Today’s devotion was adapted from my book, A 14-Day Romance Challenge: Reigniting Passion in Your Marriage. Click here for a fun video sure to make you smile! Also, I’m offering a Valentine’s Romance Bundle! Let’s make 2020 a year to strengthen our marriages and pray for our men.

4 Responses to “What Do When You’ve Lost that Lovin’ Feelin’?”

  1. Tamara says:

    Please pray for me. I have lost that loving feeling and struggle to honor the vows I’ve made before God. What do you do when your marriage is plagued by your husband’s infidelity and lies? The inboxing other women on social media. I am disappointed, angry, and struggling to pray, forgive and press. I feel confused and conflicted. I thought if he was honest we could work through everything. I really need God’s direction

  2. Chelleaux says:

    My husband and I were just talking about this. How we get so caught up in life and helping others that we forget about each other. I absolutely needed to hear this today. My marriage has become stale and placed on the back burner. Married people need encouragement daily just as much as single people. Thank you for sharing this. I am making my list of reminders on how amazing my husband truly is still today.

  3. Brandy says:

    Thanks for sharing this today Sharon. My husband and I will celebrate 12 years married this coming July. Thanks for reminding us to remember the little things from the beginning. It’s so easy for relationships to get stuck in a rut so to speak. My husband is a wonderful man and works very hard to provide for our family. And God has blessed me with the ability to meet all the needs within our home while still working part time. At night though we kind of get in our own little bubbles as we decompress from our day. We’re happy doing our own thing but know that there needs to be more actual together time. We experienced a stagnancy in our relationship about 5 years in and there were things that happened that almost dissolved our marriage. BUT GOD entered in and worked in ways we never experienced. That hiccup taught us a lot and we are more diligent about reconnecting but I know we need to rekindle the old spark and get back to doing some of the things we once enjoyed doing together.

  4. Kathy says:

    Thank you for this message today. I’ve been married almost 50 years and have found that like most things cycles of joy and happiness occur randomly. There are mountaintop experiences and valley experiences as you walk through life. Over these last 50 years what I have discovered in staying the course is my commitment to my husband all those years ago and trusting the Lord with our lives from day to day. Yes we’ve been through some stuff in 50 years and raised 4 children overseas and in the U.S. If nothing else all the moving we did should have taken us down! We’ve been in the militay, worked in secular jobs, served the Lord while doing seminary training, and served as missionaries overseas for almost half of our married lives, and we’re still serving. Anything you have to share in these messages are so appreciated because it can get tough in a marriage relationship. I think the key to our relationship ship has been commitment and loving the Lord. He is so good to us and we’ve honored him by keeping that loving feeling through our relationship with him. Yes it could always improve and we work on that daily. Love forgive, love!

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"We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well…" 1 Thessalonians 2:8