Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act.
Psalm 37:5 ESV
Friend to Friend
A few seconds seemed like an eternity as I tapped my fingers on the bathroom counter. Would the line be a plus or minus? Waiting on a few seconds for the pregnancy test results seemed like an eternity. But there it was. Yes, my instinct was right, and I was pregnant for the third time in four years. I knew that I should be happy and oh, I was! I love babies. Babies are wonderful! But there was also a part of me that felt overwhelmed instead of overjoyed. Guilty instead of glad.
I felt like a big, fat mom-fail, but I was too ashamed to share my deep feelings with anyone. You see, this sweet baby would be our fifth. I was already a stepmom, a special needs mom, and mom to two little ones. I just didn’t think I could be who this baby needed me to be. I didn’t see how I could physically or mentally do any more than I was already doing. I wondered why God was blessing our family so sweetly with another baby when it didn’t seem I could handle all God had already given me.
Thankfully our God knows so much more about us than we know about ourselves. When I read today’s key verse in solo form, it can feel like an ambiguous command. “Commit your way…” Like it’s all my job to trust God and I just need to gather up some more trust to give to him. But God loves me so much, He loves you so much, that He doesn’t just expect us to rummage up a pile of trust on our own and place everything in His hands.
You see, the verse before today’s key verse is critical to understanding what the psalmist longs to convey in this passage. Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”
The “delighting” comes before the “committing.” We can give God everything we have over and over again; we can pray each day that He directs our path. But if our hearts are not enjoying a relationship with Him, if we don’t crave His presence and long for the fullness of His Spirit, then the desires of our hearts won’t be from Him. The enemy has a way of filling our hearts and minds with his negativity. He is the one who provokes thoughts of “I’m not good enough, “I can never do this,” and “How will this ever work?”
When we live in moment-by-moment interaction with Jesus, He empowers us with strong thoughts of confidence. He implants an eagerness for what would please Him. His Spirit infuses an assurance that our God is worthy of our trust. It’s in the time deposits of sitting still and knowing that He is God that we gain that ability to trust Him in all things. Whether it includes a child, a spouse, a new relationship, a different job, or difficult circumstances, God has promised He will act. We have the privilege of giving back to him what He has given to us, trusting that the Provider is ever the Preserver.
It’s been fourteen years ago since God gifted Samuel into my womb. The name “Samuel” means “God has heard.” I didn’t even know what his name meant when I named him. But I love that so much. Because God heard me and knew what I needed before I even knew what I needed.
Maybe in this moment you feel like His provision is too much and you are not enough. Maybe trusting God with all you have seems more like a task of captivity than a ticket to freedom. I hope that today you feel encouraged to take a step back from “committing” and pause for some “delighting.” For that is when we truly experience a deeper longing and filling of trust.
Dear Father, I’m struggling to trust You, and it seems the situation I’ve been given is more than I can handle. Help me recognize that You are both the Provider and the Preserver. Give me the desire to draw closer to You so that trusting You is my natural bent. Re-wire my heart to both delight in You and commit to You.
In Jesus’ Name,
Now It’s Your Turn
Do you find it difficult to trust God with unrequested circumstances? What might happen if you paused to delight in the Lord alone?
More from the Girlfriends
Does the longing to understand God’s plan interfere with your ability to trust Him fully? Take the One More Step 5- day devotional challenge or grab your copy of Rachel’s book, One More Step: Finding Strength When You Feel Like Giving Up.