Today’s Truth

“Anxiety in the heart of a man weighs it down, but a good word makes it glad” (Proverbs 12:25 NIV 1985 ed.).

Friend to Friend

Steve and I were on a trip to celebrate my birthday. He’s not a very techy guy, so I did most of the reservations online. One night, we were trying to get tickets to a show using our hotel Internet. I kept getting kicked off and grew frustrated.

In a huff, I said, “I wish you could do this! I feel like I’m having to do all the work and it’s my birthday!”

With the saddest face ever, Steve looked down and said, “Well, I am good at some things.”

That broke my heart. Of course, he’s amazing at many things. He’s a fabulous husband, a hard worker, a great friend, and a godly man. He’s handsome, gentle, and strong. At the moment I was focusing on the .0001% negative rather than the 99.9999% positive.

In the Song of Solomon, Solomon and his Shulammite bride had a little spat. Even though she couldn’t wait to be intimate with her man before they got married, she was indifferent about the bedroom after they were married. One night he knocked, and she didn’t answer.

When she realized how she had rejected him and ran to open the door, he was gone.

Trying to console her, the Shulammite’s amazing friends said, “Girl, tell us, what do you love about your man. Let’s talk about that.” (my translations)

My beloved is radiant and ruddy,

outstanding among ten thousand.

His head is purest gold;

his hair is wavy

and black as a raven…

 His mouth is sweetness itself;

he is altogether lovely.

This is my beloved, this is my friend,

daughters of Jerusalem. (Song of Solomon 5:10-16)

She recalled that he was ruddy and radiant—glowing and tanned by the sun. He had wavy black hair, seductive eyes, and cheeks that begged to be kissed. Even though he was gentle and tender with her, she admired his strength.

She compared his arms with rods of gold set with topaz, certain parts of his body with polished ivory tusks decorated with lapis, and his legs with pillars of marble set on bases of pure gold—all the finest resources that the land had to offer.

Most likely “his mouth is sweetness itself” refers to the words he speaks to her—tender, loving, kind. I envision her wanting to hold his face in her hands and giving him that kiss he wanted earlier.

Her conclusion? “This is my beloved, this is my friend, daughters of Jerusalem,” she sighs. “Thank you for reminding me.”

So where’s your focus. The .0001% or the 99.9999%? Tomorrow, look at your husband. Really look at him and admire his wonderful qualities rather than focusing on his worst.

Proverbs 12:25 reminds us, “Anxiety in the heart of a man weighs it down, but a good word makes it glad.” All through the day, your husband has words thrown at him that could cause anxiety to rise and self-esteem to fall. But you have the ability to make him glad with a word…especially glad that he came home to you.

And here’s more good news. Notice Proverbs 12:25 says, “a good word.” You don’t have to have a lot of words. Just one. You don’t have to wax eloquent, write a discourse, or make a speech. Just one word of encouragement can give a man’s hungry soul nourishment. I’m not all that great at one word, but I can certainly do less than ten.

  • “I’m so proud of you.”
  • “I missed you today.”
  • “I love you so much.”
  • “Thank you for working so hard.”
  • “I’m so glad I married you.”

Robert Louis Stevenson said, “Make the most of the best and the least of the worst.” Too many times we flip what Stevenson said and make the most of the worst and least of the best. Let’s change that. Today. Right now.

Let’s Pray

Heavenly Father, I don’t know why I focus on the bad rather than the good, but I want to change. Help me to see the best in my husband and in other people. Help me to be a person who builds others up rather than tears them down.
In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

When is the last time you told your man that you loved his smile, or admired his talent? Can’t remember? Well, today could be the day! That’s your homework. Make a list of 10 qualities that you love about your husband…and then give it to him.

More From the Girlfriends

The Song of Solomon is a confusing book. What does the writer mean when he’s talking about pomegranates and locked-up gardens? Well, when you break the code and decipher the romantic language, it all makes sense. In my book, Lovestruck: Discovering God’s Design for Romance, Marriage, and Sexual Intimacy from the Song of Solomon, you’ll see God’s design for one of His greatest gifts. Parts of it will have you saying, “Is that really in the Bible?” Yep, God made sure of it. (Also has a companion Bible study guide.

© 2021 by Sharon Jaynes. All rights reserved.

6 Responses to “The Worth of a Good Word”

  1. Cathy says:

    Sharon, thank you for this reminder of focusing on the good instead of the bad. I needed to hear this today!

  2. Jada says:

    Thank you for your word today. Reminding us to search for the good in someone and not dwell on the bad. I have been divorced (8months ago) from my husband of 38 years and it is still fresh. I get super frustrated when someone promises to do something and does not follow through. Trust is broken. Today the light is on and I want to focus on the good in others and leave the bad behind. Telling them, showing them and trusting them is huge and can only be returned when in the right mind. Lord Help Us All!

  3. Mr Darnel says:

    Thank you Daughters of Jerusalem for perspective. Often our eyes are upon all the ugly big tings in the world. You are standards for Men and other Single women. Your Husband is your Heavenly Maker or Heavenly Jerusalem herself! Thanks that even a guy like myself can have Perfection to look upon as Husband of my own. Amen Ladies

    You’ve helpef alot of men and single women keep their eyes on the true prize. We all win

  4. Jada,I went through divorce too and I know how it feels like to get divorce after being married for so many years. I also know how it feels when someone do not follow through with their promises. But hang in tight my dear sister, keep your eyes on Jesus, spend time with him and things will definitely get better for you.
    I am a living example of how God can give a joyous blessing instead of mourning. Trust him, spend time with him everyday and believe that He will give you back what you lost to the swarming locust
    if you like to connect pleas contact me at
    Thank you Sharon for being a voice that helped me through my hard time. May God bless you and keep you.

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