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Today’s Truth

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2 NIV).

Friend to Friend

I like instant. I like brewed coffee in a minute or less. I like microwaved leftovers in 45 seconds or less. I like instant text, instant on-line shopping, and instant movies at the click of a button.

I’m not a fan of process, but would rather have immediate results. One of my favorite words in the New Testament is “immediately.”

  • “Immediately they received their sight” (Matthew 20:34).
  • “Immediately the leprosy left him” (Mark 1:42).
  • “Immediately her bleeding stopped” (Luke 8:44).

Sometimes, God does heal immediately, but not always. Most times, He heals through a progression of healing steps/

Whether we’re talking about someone’s healing from the results of a bad decision, healing of violent childhood memories, or healing from a broken heart, healing takes time.

Healing begins by recognizing that a broken heart needs mending, a busted life needs repairing, the consequences of a regrettable decision need righting.

It starts with a decision to “get well”—to set the shattered bone of contention, to lance the festering boil of bitterness, to remove the rotting soul ache of resentment, to stop metastatic memories from spreading. Healing peeks through the birth canal of wholeness when we tell someone our story for the first time.

Because healing is a process, it usually happens through a series of steps or decisions. It’s not a sprint, but a marathon—one with potholes, bends in the road, and a few straightaways that build momentum. A process implies movement—a progression from one step to the next.

I grew up with a world of wounds from what went on in my home. I couldn’t wait to graduate from high school and get out of that house. The problem was, when I left, I took my memories with me. I was a Christian; I loved Jesus; but I was weighed down with anger and resentment for what my parents had done and what they had not done.

My healing came over time in layers of forgiveness, stages of shedding shame, and progressively learning to see myself as God saw me. Just when I thought I was in the clear, God would reveal another closet of my heart that needed cleaning out.

When we have a physical wound, the need for attention is obvious. We sew up the cut, bind the break, bandage the burn. Then we douse the injury with medicine and wait for it to heal. Once a scar has formed or the bone has set, we know the body has repaired itself. The area may still be tender for a while, and it might take some time before we stop being mindful of it, but the wound is closed, and a healthy scar remains.

But when we are wounded emotionally, it’s not quite that straightforward. We can’t see the wound, so it often goes unattended, festering and spreading infection into our thoughts and relationships. Time does not heal all wounds, especially wounds of the heart. They may lie dormant for a season, but triggers poke them with the hot iron of remembrance that lets us know they’re still there.

Forgiveness begins with a decision, but there is also a process that follows. The mind and the emotions don’t always move in tandem. Emotions tend to lag behind. Even when we make a sincere decision to forgive, it might take a while for our emotions to catch up.

Paul wrote, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2 NIV). Did you catch that “renewing” is a present tense continuous action verb? It’s not instant. It is a process.

Let’s Pray

Oh God, I really want to let go of this pain from the past. When triggers bring it up again, help me to remind myself that I have already let it go and placed it at Your feet.
In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

What is a trigger that makes you remember the hurt all over again? Name it.

Once you name it, you can expect it. Once you expect it, you can reject it.

Did this devotion speak to you? If so, leave a comment and tell me why.

More from the Girlfriends

Are you ready to turn your pain into purpose? Are you ready to transform your worst chapters into your greatest victories? If so, check out my new book, When You Don’t Like Your Story: What If Your Worst Chapters Could Become Your Greatest Victories and begin the journey today. The good news is you don’t have to do it alone. Join my FREE on-line Bible study on Facebook running from February 16-March 9, 2021 and let’s do it together.

© 2021 by Sharon Jaynes. All rights reserved.

14 Responses to “Sometimes Healing Takes Time”

  1. Anissa says:

    This definitely spoke to me this morning. I was like, wait, is she talking about me? I did the same thing, I couldn’t wait to graduate and get out of that house. I went from a loving home (my great-grandparents) to a home of constant, hurt, hate, jealousy, etc. (my mothers’). For three years, I was abused both physically and emotionally. I went to church just like I did before but, I couldn’t wait to leave. By God’s grace I’m still here and much more peaceful at times. Thank you for that devotional this morning. I can reject it!

  2. Margaret says:

    Thank you, Sharon, for your devotionals re this subject. Healing truly takes time. In my 70s & a LOT of healing needed. Recently purchased your new book, but am in the midst of finishing another one by another GiG devotional writer! One which I desperately need to read, first. You girls are tremendous & I thank the Lord for each of you. (Am living in nursing facility, where you see all kinds of ‘stories’).
    Re my story, I wouldn’t know where to begin & that’s the truth! But every time I receive a letter from my ex is one of those many times which bring on ‘triggers’, which brings on more & more triggers! So I just tear it up, ‘cause they are sooo many things that nauseate me & I can’t do a thing about them but give them back to God & pray that He’ll convict & do His mighty work in him, grandson & daughter. They’re not mine but God’s to deal with! Thank you again for devotional. I don’t want to get involved in things such as Facebook…, ‘cause they take up too much time & only God knows my needs. The beautiful song, ‘It Will Be Worth It All’ has been just been ringing in my heart/mind this a m, & I can’t wait to see Jesus! Lord bless each of you! Love, Margaret

  3. Gail says:

    I am 63 and childhood scars can still affect me. Add a failed 25 year marriage to the mix; I could be despairing. But I am not! God is with me. He is healing me. He is strengthening me. He loves me through all the pain. Blessings.

  4. Debbie says:

    Thank you for sharing your story. It really touched me. I was emotionally abused by my mother. I felt like I could never please her, never be good enough, never do the right things. My dad and I were close and he was very supportive but he passed away at 66 yrs old. That was 24 yrs ago and my mom is still living at 91 yrs old in a nursing home. She is still very critical of me. It’s hard not to be bitter. I still love her. With covid I haven’t seen her in almost a year. I’ve tried to use the time to get past the pain. God is helping me to do that. I can with His help!

  5. Carol says:

    Was both sexually abused as a youth and emotionally abused in a marriage. Does a ton of damage to your self esteem. But as my faith grows I am able to forgive. You don’t forget you forgive. When you surfaces I ask Jesus to walk me through it!💕🙏

  6. Carola says:

    Tengo,55 años y 35 de vivir con un hombre que me usa.en todos los sentidos y atravesó de estés devocional Dios me mostró y recordó que mi madre lo hacía .y yo aceptaba para ser mirada por un momento,

    Gracias novias por la innumerables veces que Dios las usa y me muestran. Cosas que estaban escondidos .

  7. Robin says:

    I love reading your devotions. Each one touches me in some way. This one especially. I am divorced 5 years now from a marriage of 33 years. One I thought was wonderful only to find out he was unfaithful. After prayer I felt the Lord leading me to give him another try. Which I did and we renewed our vows. However, two years later he cheated again. I left him then and during the course of the divorce I found out he had cheated on me with at least 10 other women during my entire marriage. One of them a year after we married. I have never been so hurt in all my life. On top of that he turned my daughter against me and we didn’t speak for over a year and a half. I can say it devastated me and was angry at God for letting this happen. Why didn’t he give me any signs? I did things that I never thought I would do. I felt abandoned by everyone and God. But one day I felt this undeniable feeling of Gods love and it changed everything for me. I got down on my knees and prayed like never before. I felt God’s warmth and love again and what a wonderful feeling it is. That day I left it all behind and became the old me again but this time with a new sense of God’s love and timing. Now I am happier than I have ever been before. My daughter finally came around and asked for my forgiveness. But every now and then I have flashbacks of memories of that time and I can feel it taking me back and I stop and say it’s over and ask God to help me not think about it anymore. God is so good! I thank him all the time for bringing me out of that hell and back to his loving arms. Thank you for this devotion.

  8. Kim says:

    I was sexually abused by a neighbor that watched me as a kid. All of it bubbled up to the surface when my daughters turned the same age of me when it happened-total triggers I never knew I had. This spoke in volume to me today about the healing process. Thank you for explaining how the healing process works, it gives me words of wisdom to help with this journey of healing. Definitely not linear, twisting roads with stop signs and wrong way turns. Thank you for your vulnerability, it helps with the shame aspect!

  9. carol says:

    Have rec’d. so many blessings this am., reading all the postings!
    Just goes to show all of us, carry these burdens for decades.
    My story is so similar, thought that Jesus just couldn’t forgive me, that I was a lost cause!
    Then, a younger church member told me her story, and she prayed a prayer over me, which hit my “release button”!
    I’m so glad that God chases after us, until we leave everything at the feet of Jesus.
    Just ask. He will receive you, in His grace and mercy. Praise God!
    Blessings to you, Sharon

  10. Pamela says:

    I,too, have bitter memories regarding my parents. I went from an abusive childhood to an husband that ended up being abusive. I never should have married him (I didn’t love him) but he pleased my parents so I wanted to do what they wanted for me. I didn’t know any better. The pain has festered in me a long time and it leads to very sinful thoughts. I divorced and remarried years ago but my past won’t stay in the past. It follows me like an unwanted illness everyday. I know it is a sin to feel the bitterness that I do and I do try to give it to God. I feel at such a loss. But I know God is good and pray he doesn’t give up on me.

  11. Sherri says:

    Sharon as always, thank you for a wonderful testimony.
    I am praying for all the women that is healing from past hurt.
    I grew up in an abusive household where my grandfather physically abused my grandmother just about everyday. He died in his 80s, but she lived past 102. I can still hear her praying and signing hymnals through it all. She was my EVERYTHING!! I swore that I never would, but I also married an abusive man. I left eventhough I had two babies under 4. They are now 31 and 35. The best resolve for yourself really is forgiveness and moving on. GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU…Please let it go and PRAY!! Blessings to everyone!!

  12. Sue says:

    I speak today for my daughter. We found out she had been abused at a very young age. It’s caused sooo many problems in her life. I love this girl with all my heart but don’t know how to help her. The only thing I really know to do is trust her to God’s care and assure her that He loves her too. Any suggestions?

  13. Tammie says:

    Thank you so much for sharing. I have come a long way in healing from a rape in 1988. The first step was allowing God to help me heal. I finally forgave my rapist and have been able to pray for him and his family. The enemy tries to drag me down with the memories, but God continues to strengthen and heal me. Yes, the process is long and oftentimes painful. But I have become stronger and have been able to offer testimony to several women so they can open up and allow God to begin the healing process with them

  14. Denise says:

    My mother abandoned me at 3 years old. I stayed with my grandparents and they loved me and cared for me. My mother went on to have other children, but I was never a part of her family. After my marriage, I made her a part – went to visit her and my step dad and my 3 sisters and 1 brother who are all a part of my life today.
    My husband knew my “issue”, but it was not an issue after I had my 3 children, but it raised its ugly head on a regular basis. By the time I was in counseling, and sharing with my husband, he had already made up his mind to leave me, have his own self-centered life, etc. We were married 26 years and had dated for 4 years before marriage. But now he wasn’t happy, wanted his own life and ability to go where ever he wanted when he wanted. Abandoned again…..I was a mess. My 2 boys were in college and my daughter was 15.Thank God I had returned to teaching, so I had a place to go everyday. My faith, church, children, siblings were all there to help me and a couple of BEST friends. I was a mess for several years. I am now 74, my children are all well and married and I have 6 grandchildren. Life is so good! It has almost been 25 years since the divorce, and I still feel the pain and anger rear its ugly head. So your devotion really hit home. I will try to go the the Word when it is unmanageable, but I need prayer. There is SO MUCH hurt in my past and at times it is over whelming.
    Thank you and God Bless your ministry. Denise

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