Today’s Truth

“Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection and take delight in honoring each other” Romans 12:9-10

Romans 12:9-10

Friend to Friend

Carley and Dan are a couple who have gone the extra mile…not to go the extra mile. They constantly keep score as to who put a new bar of soap in the shower last or who replaced the toilet paper roll last or who opened a new tube of toothpaste last.

“It’s sort of a contest to see who can use the smallest sliver of soap or use the last drop of toothpaste,” Carley boasted. The contest, as silly as it may seem, boils down to who is going to serve the other. Imagine how adored Dan would feel if Carley began to get out a new bar of soap before the sliver war began or replenished the toilet paper before it was totally out.

If you want to try a contest in your home, how about seeing who can out-serve the other! The apostle Paul encourages: “Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection and take delight in honoring each other” (Romans 12:9-10 NLT).

When Jesus washed the disciples’ feet (John 13:1-17), it wasn’t simply an act of kindness. He was actually fulfilling a need the other people had refused to meet. It was customary in those days for the host of a dinner party to have a servant wash the guests’ feet. There were no Reeboks or Nikes in those days. Men and women wore leather sandals as they walked the dusty, often muddy, roads of the Holy Land. Nothing felt better than to sink callused, throbbing feet into a cool basin of water and rinse away the cares of the day. However, at Jesus’s last supper with His disciples, no servant was available to wash the guests’ feet, and no one volunteered.

So God-made-man wrapped a towel around His waist and did what no one else was willing to do. He washed the disciples’ feet. Afterward, He sat down and said, “Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you” (John 13:14-15 NIV).

In Philippians 2:4, Paul tells us to look out for the interests of others, not just for our own. “Look out for” is from the Greek word skopos, from which we get the words telescope and microscope. It means to pay close attention. Whether we are using a telescope to get the big picture or a microscope for close examination, the wife of your man’s dreams pays close attention to his needs, desires, dreams, joys, and sorrows. She looks closely at his heart and thinks of ways to serve him.

Serving doesn’t mean the bondage of slavery. As Jesus put on the towel and served His disciples, He proved to us conclusively that God’s kind of serving love flows from choice, not coercion; from strength, not weakness; from gladness, not guilt.

Jesus said, “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you” (Luke 6:38 NIV). It may be entirely possible for you to serve your husband and not feel you are receiving anything in return. However, your heavenly Father is always watching, and the measure you use to bless your husband will be used by your heavenly Husband to bless you in return.

Let’s Pray

Lord, please give me a servant’s heart. Show me ways that I can serve the most important person in my life, and give me a humble heart to do it.

In Jesus’ Name,


Now It’s Your Turn

Go back and read the entire passage of Jesus washing the disciples’ feet. How do you think they felt as Jesus served them?

What do you think it made them want to do for Him?

Pick one of the following and do it for your husband this week.

  • Ask your husband what you can do for him today.
  • Call the radio station he listens to and dedicate a song to him. Ask them to play it when you know he will be in the car (such as on the way to work or on the way home).
  • When you’re out running errands, pick up a little something you know he’d like. It could be as simple as his favorite candy bar.
  • I’ll let you think of the fourth idea on your own.

More from the Girlfriends

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9 Responses to “Serving Your Husband When You Don’t Really Feel Like It”

  1. Deb says:

    Good morning, Sharon.
    As I read this devotional today I got a little judgmental over the couple you described. And then, God stopped me in my tracks!
    You see, although my husband and I don’t have a “war of the slivers” we constantly have this push-pull in our day to day life. I am pushing him to be more of the man I want him to be, and he is pulling away because he cant stand to confront the problems we do have in our marriage. We have two separate love languages. I am Christian, he is not. I want to seek counseling, he refuses. I even went so far as asking if he wanted to leave our marriage because this does not look or feel like a marriage. It feels like a roommate situation. I love my husband and he loves me. I know that. I don’t want a divorce, I want a good marriage…. a biblical marriage. I don’t know how to do that anymore when I believe I am the only one pursuing that. I know God hates divorce and honestly I don’t believe divorce solves problems. I’ve been there, done that…. got the t-shirt as the saying goes. I covet your prayers and suggestions on what I can do to help our marriage be more as God intended… not as Deb intended. Please pray for me to have the endurance to stay in this marriage for the long term and love and respect my husband for who is – not the husband I want him to be. Pray that I will see him through God’s eyes each time I go to push him rather than my own selfish ones.

    Thank you for listening and for all of the girlfriends who pour into our hearts each day.

    • Linda says:

      I understand. I had ask my husband for a divorce. Due to all his drinking. Lying. Cheating. Then as i had adk God for a sign. I was getting excited about moving on. Living my Christian life. Loving listening to my christian music. Reading the bible. Writing in my journal. Then out of the blue my husband almost died from his drinking. He was in ICU for a week. All his electrolytes were depleted. Among other things. He had to stop drinking. Now what do I do??? Well this was 10 months and I’m still here taking care of him. 27 years of marriage. 15 years being only house mates. Now we are room mates in seperate beds. I just ask God to help me day by day. So I’ll be praying for you.

  2. SherriLynn says:

    What an AWESOME testimony to loving your husband as God intended. Thank you soooo much for this devotional today.

    To my sister in Christ, Deb…. continue to pray, asking God to work on you! My daily prayer for me “Create a clean heart (in me) Oh God, and renew the right Spirit within me.” I pray this to myself and out loud whenever I attempt not mold my husband into the man that I want him to be; instead of accepting him as the man that God created (and brought to me as my husband). When the going gets tough, remember your husband’s characteristics that you LOVE about him. When you feel yourself slipping into the abyss of judgment/anger/displeasure….STOP, PRAY, and remind your husband of just one of the reasons you love him. You won’t be able to remain in a negative space when LOVE is present. Praying for you, your husband and your marriage. Sending LOVE your way!

  3. Marilee says:

    I read your comment above and my heart broke. Been there, done that.
    I am praying for you and your marriage. Know that throughout the day I am praying for you.
    The last two lines of your comment is what I will be praying. I have been in your shoes and Sunday we celebrated 30 years together. Hang on to hope.
    If you are a reader, the book Love and Respect changed my heart..

  4. Cristina says:

    Hi, this is about being a servant heart. Yes I’m a foster mother to 2 toddlers and I have them since two month of age. I love children I have to older sons, and yes I started all over again with babies. But the Babies are up for adoption and I want them, but my husband said No 😢 we are middle age and we are too old. To adopt. And now am praying the a good Christian family would adopted them. How do I serve when I want to keep all this babies an d I can’t!!

  5. Deb.
    I will be praying for you, I just want to encourage you to respect and honor your husband, try not to change him and seek God’s wisdom and direction, you will be surprised by how God may change the whole situation for your good, You may be the only Christ like image that your husband see during this time, I will unite with you in prayers that you would see him through God’s eyes and for God to give you the grace to accept him the way he is, I know it is not easy but the lord will give you His strenigth and power, take care of yourself, always try to look good for him , have fun, go out on dates and treat him as he is already the man you want him to be, correct him no more, give him a chance to see Jesus through you witout saying a word to him, trust God, who gives life to the dead and calls those things which do not exist as though they did. I will be praying for you.
    BTW , You may have this book called the power of praying wife by Stormie Omartian, if not I highly recommend it, you can commit to pray for him once a day for 30 days and watch God work on both of your lives.

  6. Diana says:

    Sharon, thanks for the reminder that it is up to us to make our spouse feel special.

    Deb, I know exactly where you are right now. a while ago now, I asked God to change my husband. I wanted him to stop smoking, then stop drinking. I pleaded with God to let me out of my marriage and he told me to STAND STILL know that he is GOD and that he would rectify all things in our marriage.
    We started going to a different Church during this time and I started hear the word in a way I had never heard it before, (or maybe I never let it sink in before), anyway I stopped praying that God would change my husband, (not that I didn’t want him to change)but instead change me. I needed to acknowledge my sins, not ask God to change my husbands mind and sins. I tell you the truth, as soon as I prayed that prayer; he changed my husband, because I took my eyes of a situation that was none of my business and put it where it should be on me.
    my husband has been alcohol free now for 17 years and smoke free for a year. I praise God that he honors us when we give him the control that he should have, instead of us wanting to be the captain of the boat. Please know that I will keep you in my prayers and pray that you will be able to let God work on your husbands HEART as you work on yours. Blessings to both of you.
    By the way this year we will celebrate 42 years of marriage.

  7. SherriLynn says:

    Girlfriends in God…. What a wonderful exhibit of Divine Connection.

    Have a Blessed Day Sisters…

  8. Ang says:

    Wow!!! Deb I just want to encourage you that you are not alone!!! You just described my marriage almost to a T and now unfortunately my daughters marriage and it is heartbreaking to watch what they are doing to each other!! I know God is good and hears my prayers as I continue to pray for them and my husband and in the waiting I will pray for you and I will ask God daily to change me and let God change my husband ! It is so hard because I have never had spiritual intimacy with him so I ask God for that as well;; please include my husband but especially my daughters husband in your daily prayers!!! Thank you!!

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