Today’s Truth

Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.

Psalm 62:8

Friend to Friend

The days drudged on after my mama died from cancer. In only 6 short months, her diagnosis had flipped, and she graduated to Heaven. I wasn’t ready. I’d never processed this kind of grief before. Each morning after her death required every ounce of my strength just to sit up in bed and drag my feet over the side, forcing them to hit the floor. The weight of losing her pressed into my soul and I continually feared losing my husband and children. Would God take them so quickly from me as He had her?

My feelings vacillated between fear, anger, and panic. For some reason, because I was mad at God, I thought He didn’t want to hear from me. Or maybe I was the one giving Him the cold shoulder. Either way, my prayer life? Nonexistent. But verses like today’s truth were hidden in my heart and God promises His Word will not return void. The Holy Spirit reminded me that God wants to hear from me, no matter how I feel.

Our Father longs for us to trust Him with everything. The Amplified Bible version explains today’s key verse like this: “Trust (confidently) in him at all times.” No matter the season, His desire is to be the One who holds our faith and puts it into action. We can do this with confidence because from the beginning of time, He has always kept His Word and always will.

As the psalmist declares, pouring out our hearts to him paves the path for healing in our hearts. When the words finally tumbled out in prayer and I started to tell God I was angry and fearful and worried, peace wasn’t instantaneous. But the more I voiced my frustrations and admitted my outrage, the more clarity His Word and Spirit ushered in. I realized prayer was so much more powerful than panic. Psalm 142:5 became my mantra. “I cried out to You, O Lord; I said, “You are my refuge, My portion in the land of the living.” My portion. Enough to get me through that moment of swinging my feet over the side of the bed and planting my feet on the ground, confidently trusting that my Heavenly Father would lead me through each step for the day.

God is our refuge. Just like a mother who wants to be the first to hear about her child’s tough day, He longs to be our hideout, hiding place, and hideaway. As a shelter from the storm, He wraps his arms around us and reminds us of His beautiful promises. That He will always transform evil into good. That His ear is ever listening to the cries of our hearts. That prayer trumps panic. Every. Time.

Let’s Pray

Dear Father, I’m hurting, and I don’t really want to talk to you about my feelings. I know you already know them, but the pain is so great. Help me remember the truth of Your Word. Give me the ability to recognize that pouring my heart out to You is the path to peace.

In Jesus’ Name,


Now It’s Your Turn

Are you prone to panic in the midst of pain? What would happen if you remember to lift up a simple prayer when panic strikes?

More from the Girlfriends

Interested in learning more about how to pray in the midst of pain? Download “Permission to Ache Freely,” the first chapter in Rachel’s book, One More Step: Finding Strength When You Feel Like Giving Up, for free!

8 Responses to “Permission to Ache Freely”

  1. NC says:

    What a powerful devotional. I have lost a lot of people dear to me including a Still birth . I cried out to God and indeed he heard my cry. Now I have a beautiful baby girl that gives me soo much joy . Hold on to God no matter the circumstance

    • Jennifer says:

      NC my heart goes out to you for your loss. Our daughter was born with a heart defect that wasn’t detected during pregnancy. 25 hours later we had to so goodbye. Only someone who has lost a child can understand the unbearable pain, confusion and anger that comes with it. I struggled with a deep depression after her loss but everywhere I went God kept bringing these people in my life who had suffered a similar loss. To see the joy and love they still had for the Lord gave me hope and strength to carry on. Every time I would cry out to HIm God would give me the same verse “For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans for hope and a future.” This was a hard one to sink in but I truly didn’t get it until I gave God my anger and pain and fear. It kept me from him for a while but I now find myself back in the arms of our Father. His love and mercy is everlasting and I feel myself overwhelmed with his love.

  2. Shantelle says:

    This touched my heart.
    Thank you for sharing.

  3. Kathleen says:

    Thank you for today’s devotion ……it strikes so so close to my heart today. I lost my mother three weeks ago and it feels so unnatural to not have her here and part of my everyday. I have been walking around in a fog and state of disconnect and I’m not sure how to push thru this. In the last six years I have lost both my parents and my husband very unexpectedly and in an odd twist my husband and mother passed on the same date six years apart…..February 13th, not a great day for sure. I have trusted and seen how God has walked with me each step but this latest loss feels like a big wave crashing over me ,saying here we go again. Prayer I know never returns void but oh how I wish I could escape from this grief. Thank you for the wonderful words in your devotion that reminded me of my great refuge.

  4. Amy says:

    This struck a chord today. My mom passed away 4 years ago tomorrow. At the time, I took off from work to be with her the last couple of weeks before she passed away and then had to take another week or 2 after because of the initial bout of grief. In all that time, the only supportive person was my husband. My family wanted me to snap out of it, and my job threatened to fire me (even though another coworker who had lost her mom not long before was allowed to stay out over a month). Now I look back, and realize that God allowed me that time with her (in which I did not cry, grieve or break down) and the time after (in which I did do so) because He knew I needed it. Grief and hurt are something we should never shy away from, and even sometimes we need to embrace it. It’s where the good memories start to flow from.

  5. Karen says:

    I think for the first time in 40 something years I’ve realized what I was feeling all those years about my dad’s death! I like you lost him very quickly in fact just 2 days after he got sick. I would wonder if my husband would die when our daughter was just 14 too! Since then I’ve lost my mom and my daughter. God’s promise of seeing them all again has helped me get out bed each day and move my feet forward to the day I will! Thanks for your insight!

  6. Jennifer says:

    Thank you. When I began reading this, my first thought was my ‘pain’ was from being overwhelmed with work and family life not death. (Even though I lost a brother less than a year ago).

    Anyway, thank you for this devotional. It helps remind me to stop and pray. Prayer is always the answer to help get through.
    God Bless.

  7. Jen says:

    Thank you for blessing us with this good word. Within the course of 3 months, I found out my husband was unfaithful to me our entire marriage, I suffered a miscarriage and my son was diagnosed with a life-long serious illness that could be fatal if not managed properly every single day. I felt so angry at God for letting all of this happen to me especially after I had gotten back into church and had given my life over to Christ years before we got married. I realize now that God is big enough for our anger. He can take it. We just have to pour out our true feelings and pain. He already knows how we feel and just like the mother or father of a screaming, flailing child crying in a mess from a tantrum- He is there to hold us and wait patiently for us to get it all out and then holds us and loves us anyway. Thank you.

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