Today’s Truth

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (Romans 12:18, NLT).

Friend to Friend

One day, I discovered that one of my favorite hoop earrings was missing. It was a pair that I wore daily because they matched all of my outfits. I searched my room while wondering when the earring might have fallen out.

I held onto the remaining hoop for months in hopes that the missing hoop might turn up. While I had other earrings, that particular pair was important to me. I hated looking at that lonely earring in my jewelry box. I couldn’t help but think of how much I missed wearing them.

The loss reminded me of other things I’ve lost. If you’ve ever experienced the loss of a friendship or a fallout with a family member, it’s hard. Chances are, there are lingering reminders they are no longer a part of it. Now you feel like the remaining earring of a once wonderful pair and you hate the gaping space where that connection and that person used to be.

One of the most painful aspects of a broken relationship is that you can’t make someone work things out with you. While forgiveness is an individual act of faith and obedience, reconciliation requires everyone involved to get engaged in the process. What do you do when despite all of your phone calls, prayers and pleas nothing happens? In that empty space where that person used to be, you’re left with memories, questions and a lot of pain.

Within the wisdom of Today’s Truth in Romans 12:18 rests a few practical principles that define how God helps you to live and learn to let go of a broken relationship so that you can keep walking in peace, even if for now, you’re walking alone.

First, the opening phrase “if it is possible” implies that there will be times when reconciliation just isn’t possible. Just as Jesus had enemies and people who were out to hurt him, you may be dealing with someone who behaved badly. Even if you miss their presence in your life, you know that they aren’t safe until they repent and or get help. You have permission to stay away from them, even if other well-meaning people try to guilt you into doing otherwise.

Second, “as far as it depends on you” means that you can only do so much to repair a broken relationship. You can nag someone, constantly text them or even guilt them to sitting down and talking it out, but would your control-loving behaviors create a healthy beginning toward healing a broken relationship? Definitely not. The takeaway here is that God releases you from being wholly responsible for reconciliation. You are not responsible for fixing a broken relationship all by yourself.

Finally, “live at peace with everyone” means that you shouldn’t stir the pot to keep the conflict going. When our feelings have been hurt, we tend to push our hurt toward others. That doesn’t bring people, only more pain and conflict. Surrender is your only path to peace. No matter who is at fault, God is calling you to accept the painful situation as it is and leave it in His hands. When you live at peace, you experience the blessing and hope of God’s promises no matter the outcome of that situation. Don’t let that broken relationship steal your blessing!

In the meantime, keep praying for God’s hand in healing and timing. While reconciliation is always God’s goal, your responsibility is to forgive and be ready IF reconciliation is an opportunity in the future.

Let’s Pray

God, it’s so painful not having (name of person/people) ________________________ as part of my life. I know it’s not my responsibility to fix our relationship all by myself, but I need forgive (if needed) and be ready for the day that reconciliation may occur.
In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

Dealing with broken relationships are tough! Do you think that you might experience more peace and less pain if you let go of a broken relationship and surrendered it to God?

Hurt people tend to hurt people. In your pain, are there “stir the pot” behaviors that you need to stop, such as gossip, unkind words or initiating arguments?

Which aspect of Romans 12:18 do you need to apply to your broken relationship?

More from the Girlfriends

Today’s content is from Barb’s new devotional book, Surrendered: 40 Days to Help You Let Go and Live Like Jesus. This 40-day devotional invites you to let go of trying to control others or outcomes and learn how to live like Jesus. Learn how to trust God’s power, presence, promises and provision for your life so that you experience God’s peace no matter what’s happening in your life.

© 2021 by Barb Roose. All rights reserved.

21 Responses to “Letting Go of a Broken Relationship”

  1. Shanon Pizano says:

    This really hits home to what I have been struggling with. I had a friend for 43 years. She started in an online relationship 2 years ago with someone of a Muslim religion. He believes it is ok to have to have more than one wife., He in fact lied to my friend that he wasn’t married until the wife contacted my friend after seeing posts on Facebook. He lives in South Africa. He convinced my friend he was divorcing his wife. I voiced my concerns and told her that in God’s eyes, it is still adultery. I asked her to pray about it and ask God to reveal His truth to her. She ended up leaving to go to South Africa, and not even telling me Goodbye. I was extremely hurt. SO I blocked her on Facebook. She contacted my husband to ask if there was something wrong with my FB and he told her I blocked her…She married this guy on Christmas day in South Africa. 10 days later she contracted COVID. And on January 12th 2021 passed away in South Africa. I am devastated. Knowing that I had cut her off, her family, that I had grown up with, spent more time with than my I own family, cut me off… I am extremely hurt. I don’t regret my decision to stand up for God’s truth.. I dream about her constantly. I hate that we will not be able to fix this, but I also think that God may also be shielding me. In the same instant, feeling guilty for cutting her off, maybe I could have done it in a more loving way…but at the same time feeling.. she made her own decision. Unfortunately, it was a decision that cost her, her life. I am still trying to find peace and the strength to let go of this relationship and also the relationship with her family. Thank you for this encouraging devotional.

    • Avatar photo Barb Roose says:

      Shanon, my heart is broken for you. I’m so very sorry for the loss of your friend, your friendship and the grief of knowing that you cannot change the outcome in this lifetime. I am praying with you ghat surrender will be your path to peace in this painful situation. We’re so glad that you joined us today at Girlfriends in God

  2. JoAnn says:

    I have experienced the exact scenario (the hoop earring). My brothers and sisters have treated me unkindly and throughout the years I have felt I was an only child. I have been blamed for being the favorite of 11, and shunned. I have tried to speak my peace over and over again (stirring the pot I guess) with no response. I get it now. Reconciliation, may not happen and I must be at peace knowing I have tried. Time to MOVE OUT OF THE WAY! LET GO AND LET GOD. Thank you for this.

  3. Radha says:

    Your reading seems to always line up with what I’m going through in life. I seems to have so much enemies. Broken marriage. Wish I could let go and let God. HOW?
    MY siblings as we aged are so bitter. My sister dont speak with me. My spouse walked out on me, friends cuts me off. I prayer but Where is God Sharon, where?? It is so sad, lonely, broken that I cant find my purpose in life. I dont seem to know what I can do thats right for everyone. Prayer for that healing and to let go but God to change me. My broken me.

  4. Barbara Davis says:

    My brother and I went estranged following our mom’s death. For years I tried…birthday cards, phone calls left unreturned, etc. One day, I just had to say enough because it was so painful. I gave it to God. I still don’t know why, but not long after, he made contact. I got to know his wife and my lovely niece and nephew. We are close again (we were inseparable when little). I may never know why, but I do trust God.

    • Avatar photo Barb Roose says:

      Barbara, thank you so much for sharing your comment. I know that God used your story to be an encouragement to so many who are facing a similar situation.I’m so glad that you’ve reconciled with you brother, but even more grateful that you realized that you needed to surrender that situation and trust God.

  5. Pam says:

    I have not seen or heard from my son in four years. I’ve reached out to reconcile to no avail. My calls have been blocked. I was the soccer mom, took him shopping for skateboards and watched him play in the praise band at church. We had it difficult (a verbally abusive marriage) for years but we stayed close. I got us out. And then he went his own way. I’ve become the enemy. He has moved to Las Vegas and I don’t even have his address. It is painful. Pray with me for reconciliation and release until such time as God brings about healing. Many thanks.

  6. Leigh says:

    Today’s devotional represents a mere snippet from the “Surrendered” bible study.

    The lessons I learned from this study were liberating and life changing.

    I strongly recommend this study to anyone who is struggling to find their way through a situation that does not seem to have a solution!

    • Avatar photo Barb Roose says:

      Hi Leigh, thank you for stopping by Girlfriends in God today and sharing your comment. I love that God used my Surrender study to bless and transform your life. Praise God!

  7. Erica says:

    Please pray that the relationship with my sister be restored. I miss her so much. In my opinion we’ll the whole family’s opinion she is with the wrong guy, we feel his a manipulator and has change her to the point that she’s not the sweet person she once was. We see a lot of red flags in this man, and because we are concerned about her well being and her children’s well being we voice our opinion about him, and that cause her to stop the communication with her family. Lord help her she needs you to find the right path. Help restore the brokenness this man has brought to all our family. In Jesus name Amen.

  8. Sherri says:

    Pray for me my husband has troubles had work brings his attitude at home arguments with me hard on our family I just want to cry.. I pray for for Jesus help to heal this man & our marriage & family

    • Avatar photo Barb Roose says:

      Hi Sherri, thank you for sharing your comment and prayer request with us. Our hearts go out to you and your family for the heartache and stress that you are experiencing.

  9. AnnMarie says:

    Wow, my first devotional from you and it is everything that I am going through. The pain sometimes seems so deep that I am not sure how to get through it. I keep stating that I have to have Faith and that this hurt will go away. But I do believe when you are struggling, that is when it is the hardest time to have Faith. You kind of forget how to pray or don’t even have the right frame of mind to pray and know what to say. Every time I hear the Matthew West Song – Truth be Told…. My heart just breaks, I feel so broken. I want this pain to go away and have peace in my heart again.

    • Avatar photo Barb Roose says:

      AnnMarie, you are sharing so honest about the struggle with broken relationships.Thank you for being real about what you are going through. Thank you for sharing the song with us.

  10. Melissa says:

    Please pray for my girls and husband to talk and heal from hurts in the past. My girls are mad at me. Very painful in our home.

  11. Leslie says:

    This gave me so much comfort! I have been dealing with an estrangement from my adult son (my only child) for 5 years. I have done everything possible to try and reconcile with him. In recent months, I have come to a place of accepting that God knows what is best for me, and may not be answering my prayers for reconciliation because HE is protecting me. I have been strengthened so much in my walk with the Lord, as I learn to trust HIM more and more each day.

    • Avatar photo Barb Roose says:

      I’m so glad that God used this to encourage you, Leslie. Thank you for sharing your story with us encouraging others with your story.

  12. Bobbie says:

    Relationships can be hard. My ex-husband left my daughter and me several years ago. It has been been hard in many different ways, but I keep praying for God to heal all of us. I see how God has worked in many ways, but it doesn’t mean we will be together as a family again. It took me a very long time to go from “ God, please heal us and bring us back together as a family” to “God, Thy Will be done”. I still slip at times, but I trust God,

  13. Bernadette says:

    It is better to live in peace than to live in strife. Sometimes it is a long journey to peace but once we surrender to God, it is a journey we can bear.

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