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Today’s Truth

For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.

Romans 6:14

Friend to Friend

She put me down, right there in front of “all them.” Sure, it was subtle, but it was real and … worst of all, it wasn’t the first time. In fact, every time I encourage others around that one particular subject, she circles right back and shoots it down. You can’t get one thing past her.

Hmph! Well, if she’s going to put me down like that? Well…I’ll show her. I don’t have to put up with this.

I thought about leaving the gathering. But I didn’t. I just sat there, internally fuming, while externally smiling.

Later, when I got home, I wondered why I even bother speaking up, encouraging others or taking the risk to be open and honest. Women always hurt me. Like that one time I shared the vulnerable details of my heart, only to get word it was being passed through the meat grinder of women’s chattering mouths. Or the other time when I shared my hurt and it was misinterpreted and stomped upon by those around me. Or worst yet, when I shared about God and felt all the crawling judgement of others walking up and down my body.

The more I think about all this, the more the problem bothers me. And worst yet, I fear: what if the real problem is – me? Perhaps it’s not their issue, but my fatal-flaw issue. One I was born with. What then?

I must not be good. I must be unlikable. I’ll always have this problem.

When I look deep within myself, I see faults:

I sometimes seek to impress others.

I hate feeling like people aren’t approving of me.

I never want to be seen as one doing wrong.

I have a hard time when people disagree.

I feel like less of a person when I’m not adding value.

I feel worthier when God is using me for important things.

Yet, when I look a level deeper I see something else. Yes, I am flawed, but not fatally – thanks to Jesus. I say things wrong, but I am always wanted. I make mistakes, but I am always loved. I do need to say, “I’m sorry,” but I am always forgiven.

I am not the sum of what I do, but the product of how I’m loved by Jesus.

The same goes for you. Love pours out of you, because Love came for you and conquered all. He taught. He led. He bled. He died. He was buried. He rose to heaven. For you.

With this, we no longer have to create perfect love that demands perfect responses from others. Instead, we can rest in Him who is perfect love. We can trust His love to compel us. We can breathe deep and gain perseverance and endurance from the endlessly beautiful gift he extends to us. The gift called, “sweet relief.”

“For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace” (Romans 6:14, NIV).

Lets Pray

Today, I give up my need to gain man’s constant approval. I repent of tying my value to other people’s responses. I need you, Jesus, more than I need the passing head-nods of man. I need you, Father, more than I need to be filled up by applause. Teach me, God, to love others authentically.

In Jesus’ Name.

Amen.

Now Its Your Turn

Who has offended you recently? Choose today to forgive them, so you can make new room in your heart and mind for Jesus’ love. Then, take it a step further and pray for them.

More from the Girlfriends

Kelly Balarie, blogger at Purposeful Faith and author of “Fear Fighting: Awakening the Courage to Overcome Your Fears” is passionate about joining hands with women who often find themselves stuck in the pits of life. Step-by-step, word-by-word, her dream is that together they can emerge better – fear, fret and panic-free. Get all of Kelly’s Purposeful Faith blog posts by email for a dose of inspiration and encouragement.

16 Responses to “I am Offended and Hurt”

  1. Terri says:

    I am offended and hurt was just what I needed. I live in Michigan. My husband and I are going to Massachusetts Memorial Day weekend. I had really hoped to see my daughter and my granddaughter. My daughter refuses to forgive me so I will not be able to see either one of them! I am hurt and angry. Anyway what you wrote really touched my heart.

  2. Teikisha says:

    What a transforming devotion this morning. I struggle with acceptance and comparing myself to others. Thank you for this reminder that we only need to focus on Jesus and His unwavering love for us. This line sums it up perfectly: I am not the sum of what I do, but the product of how I’m loved by Jesus.

    May you all be blessed and covered by His goodness and mercy!

  3. April says:

    Wow! This is how I have been feeling forever. Thank you so much for putting my feelings in print that I could not. God always puts angels in your path when you least expect. I’ve never felt close to many women even as a child but always felt close to God. It is my firm belief that God is using my life to show other people how to treat one another and to forgive authentically because no one but God is perfect. The women in my life barely speak to me but desire and admire the life that I have and live. You can feel that animosity, hate and jealousy when I walk into the room but I have learned that it is not me but them that have a problem. Thank goodness for my mom and sisters. I lead, I teach, I guide By The Grace & Holy Spirit, I am a sinner who is loved, blessed and favored by God and my life belongs to him and what people think or believe is not my concern. Thanks be to God

  4. Rachel says:

    Thanks so much for writing this one, Kelly. Your honesty and openness on this subject will be a blessing to many (and I’m one of them!).

  5. Missie says:

    I have a friend who struggles with this so much. Leaving bible study last night, she was in tears because she was hurt by another, not for what they said, but because she felt like she was not seen.

    I struggled to find the words to comfort her last night, then, **BAMB** God sent me this message through Girlfriends in God today! Beauty..pure..raw beauty! That is what I am talking about!

    Thank you for being a funnel for God! I feel like we are those strawberry planters, you know those big terracotta pots with all the holes going down the sides? We just keep passing it down to the next hole and then it grows and the next one and that grows and so on!

    So excited to have Girlfriends in God!

    Missie

  6. Dianne says:

    ThIs came straight down to me from my Father and loving Savior🙏🙏

  7. Lynnette says:

    This was such an empowering and encouraging read! Thank you for allowing God to use you and pen this devotional…it was as if I were seeing myself as you shared..God answered my prayer of giving me just what I need right now through your devotional. Thank you Jesus!

  8. C.Orris says:

    Just what I needed!
    Have had similar situations with my friends, that don’t share the same political view point. I just keep knowing & believing the actions of Christ, as true! HE is my guide to live by, not a political party. All I can say is “blessed are the peacemakers”. Thank you for this very important Devotional for we, women!

  9. P. Sidney says:

    Take heart Kelly. When you open your heart to encourage others and suffer ridicule, you’ve still encouraged someone out there. Put on the whole armor of God so that you will be able to stand against the enemy.

  10. Diana says:

    I learned some time ago that FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real. It will be real as long as I choose to believe it. So, I Choose not to believe it.
    And because he says in his Word that He didn’t give us a Spirit of FEAR or Timidity, I will choose to believe what he has to say OVER me.

    Thanks for reminding me of this today!!

  11. Bernadette says:

    Right on POINT today Girlfriend! Kelly, I realized today after reading your devotional that seeking the approval of man or woman, friend or parent, colleague or student, neighbor or ?, is EXHAUSTING and leaves me feeling empty. “Oh How I Love Jesus, because He first loved me” is a song that comes to mind from my childhood and this song and your devotional today will solidify my value and worth in Christ Jesus. Thank you.

  12. It can be hard when people have different points of view, right? Our job is to love the person even if we don’t agree with their history or actions. It is hard, but – wow, Christ illustrated this well.

  13. Indeed, my friend. May we be ruled by Christ-in-us, instead of the changing world-around-us. So true.

  14. It is exhausting. I’m over it. Let’s move on… 😉

  15. Stacey says:

    Thanks so much! This devotion is for me! I struggle with feeling “less than”, but I know God values me for REAL. I need to leave this at the foot of the cross.

  16. Rebecca Jones says:

    It is exhausting and we need refreshing. Rehashing the past is tiresome and old, being quick to forgive is good because we don’t want to carry other people’s sins around. And what hard though is the 70 x 7, at least for me. Will people ever learn and get over repeating the same blunders?

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