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Today’s Truth

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Ephesians 4:32

We hope you are enjoying the Girlfriends in God daily devotions. We (Mary, Sharon, and Gwen) would like to introduce you to some of our special friends. From time-to-time, the Friday devotions will be written by one of our friends in ministry. We call them our Friday Friends. So grab your Bible and a fresh cup of coffee and drink in the words from our Friday Friend, Arlene Pellicane.

Friend to Friend

When my husband James and I were newlyweds, our first fight revolved around teriyaki chicken and broccoli. I was not a good cook. When James got home and asked if he could invite the new neighbor over, I said definitely not. I didn’t have enough food and was nervous enough about the meal without a dinner guest.

Imagine my surprise, irritation, and anger when my new husband invited the neighbor over after I had said no. When the doorbell rang, all angst was forgotten. I was a nice host. But when our guest left, I fussed and fumed, slamming cabinets for dramatic effect. James tackled me like Tigger. Putting his face right up to mine, he smiled and said, “I’m sorry!”

What would you have done? How do you usually respond when a friend or family member does you wrong?

James’ apology was a bit on the jovial side so I waited to clarify that he really was sorry and that he would not bring another dinner guest again without my okay. He gave a sincere apology, which left me with a choice. I could nurse the grudge a little longer or I could say “Grudge, be gone.”

It’s easy to allow our minds to rehearse the wrongs done to us. Your boss passed you up for that promotion again. Your sister said something hurtful to you. Lately your co-workers have been gossiping about you. Yet Scripture tells us to think on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8). When we hold grudges, we do the opposite. We think on what is wrong and painful. We can boast to others about how hard we have it and receive a sense of importance because of our emotional pain.

That night, I decided to forgive James for his error in judgment and move on. I thought of the church marquee that read, “No matter how much you nurse a grudge, it won’t get better.” Meditating on wrongs done in the past will not expedite healing. It will prevent it. If you need help because you tend to keep a record of wrongs, try dwelling on how love behaves instead: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5, NIV).

Love says “Grudge, be gone.”

Let’s Pray

Lord, I want to dwell on the good, not the bad. Transform my mind by the power of the Holy Spirit. May I experience unity with my friends and family members. Help me be a peacemaker in my home, workplace, church, school and everywhere I go.

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

Are you holding a grudge against anyone today? If so, take a piece of paper and write out Ephesians 4:32, inserting the person’s name: “I will be kind and compassionate to _______, forgiving him or her, just as in Christ God forgave me.” Read this whenever you are tempted to nurse that grudge.

More from the Girlfriends

You’ll be happy to hear that in 17 years of marriage, Arlene’s husband has never brought home a surprise dinner guest! Arlene Pellicane is the author of 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Mom. Maybe you’re struggling with anger and frustration as a parent. 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Mom will help you stress less and enjoy your kids more.

7 Responses to “Grudge, Be Gone”

  1. Leslian Brown says:

    Thanks guys for this devotion it really gave me a new perspective on life. My husband and I have been separated for a while now and he does everything each time to hurt my feelings . Each time I try to move forward I am hurt by him. I have been talking to God about how unfair he has been to me but until I read this devotional encouraging me to let it go I now have a new perspective on life. ‘Twas hard for me to repeat the scripture by puttin his name in but I prayed about it and then I was able to say the whole scripture verse and not feel hurt. You guys are an inspiration to me thanks again.

    • Good for you to pray for your husband by name. God is a righteous judge – keep trusting Him to be just and you continue doing what you know is right. May God bring much healing to your life and marriage.

  2. Michelle says:

    This devotion is so timely for me. I’ve been nursing a grudge all week against my best friend and sister in Christ. Thank you for reminding me that my love for her is stronger than the grudge. My love for her says “Grudge, Be Gone”

  3. Hilda says:

    Thanks for this! Just another reminder that I have to forgive and let go. I need God’s grace to forgive some one who hurt me badly.

  4. Lucy tan says:

    It’s not easy to let go of the hurts and pain when the person who did it is the closest to you.It is easier for me to forgive friends but when it comes to my husband there is always this grudge that I hold against him.I know that God is telling me through this devotion to forgive my husband and to ask God for His grace to love my husband the way God loves him. It won’t be easy but with God nothing is impossible!!Thank you for this timely message I am encourage.

  5. Chipo says:

    Its so difficult to forgive someone who hurts you continuously. i have a workmate who tried soooo hard to get the boss to side line me and i got sick last year because of stress. but i am going to put this devotion to play and change how i feel about her. i really need your prayers.

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